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June 5, 2003

The adventures of Jasper the time travelling cat (Volume 1. Episode 2)

Posted by damien

Volume 1. Episode 2. The intrepid moggy makes contact. From Ancient Egypt...

Jasper yesterday. In Egypt...


Well cover me in kitty litter and call me moggy, but dagnammit if things aren?t getting exciting down here at Blather Paranormal Investigations Inc. Last night, sat as we were in our lab, quaffing a small glass of absinthe, ruminating over the cycling results and lightly tinkering with the Tesla-inspired warp field coils, a small but distinct crackling began to emanate from the wireless. As we had previously reported, Jasper, the intrepid time-travelling cat was lost somewhere in Siberia. In 1908.


However, our readings had indicated to us that he may have ?time-shifted? just prior to the Tunguska event. To where, we knew not. Until last night?


Frantically we managed to tune in the faint miaowing and screeching and set to locating the daredevil feline. It turns out that Jasper has wound up in Ancient Egypt. But not just anywhere in Ancient Egypt, oh no, but at the court of the legendary heretic pharaoh, Akenhaten. Son of the pharaoh Amunhotep III, and grandfather of Tutankhamun. History records that he broke with Egyptian tradition and abandoned the worship of the Gods in favour of just one deity, the Aten. Such was the depth of his crime, that when his dynasty fell, the priests of the now restored Amun-Ra cult erased any mention of him, his queen Nefertiti or his whole family from the historical record. Akenhaten would be forgotten for millennia until the great archaeologist Flinders Petrie would excavate the lost city of El-Amarna. Dramatic stuff eh? Indeed, and just enough mystery, murder and intrigue to make him the darling of the alternative Egyptological brigade.


Anyway, we had a clear feed of signal from Jasper for a good fifteen minutes until he vanished again. In that time we managed to download a good quantity of imagery and data from the gadgetry stashed in his collar. We also had just enough time to test run the miaow-to-human-voice simulator which translates cat speak to intelligible words via a Commodore 64. There are still bugs in the system but we did manage to clearly hear him say: ?Get me the fuck out of here you bas??, and then we lost the feed. We can only assume that he has shifted again, hopefully before they had a chance to mummify him.


Anyhoo, there are thousands of sites on the Pharaoh with the weird head. This one is a good place to start. This site contains a theory which seeks to explain what gave him that funny appearance, and this one seeks to explain the larger context of the whole Amarna period. This page devotes some space to the theory that Moses and he were the same person.Yes, Moses.


And then on a more sober note, here is what the BBC have to say on the matter. More on jasper when he reports back in.



Posted by damien at June 5, 2003 3:30 PM

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