Happy Christmas from Blather.net

And so, the ninth year of Blather.net draws to a close. We have, as always, tried to live up to the lofty standards set by our founding father in achieving 'entirely new levels in everything which is contemptible, despicable and unspeakable in contemporary journalism'. Like Flann Almighty before us we have 'no principles, no honour, no shame'. Our objects have been 'the fostering of graft and corruption in public life, the furtherance of cant and hypocrisy, the encouragement of humbug and hysteria and the glorification of greed and gombeenism'. Do you get the smell of Porter?

From Brother Alvin with Love

'I'm ten. Now where's me fucking cake?'

So, where are we? Well, as we stagger into our tenth (yes, tenth) year, we've become all too aware that Blather.net has a vast archive of scum and bloggery which has become difficult to find your way around. In order to make it easier, we've been (slowly and agonisingly) porting all of the old articles into the current system. This is what comes of being a blog before anyone had ever heard the word 'blog' and this also explains our notable lack of output these last few months.

Old Tart

The result will be a nicer Blather, where it's easy to find content. Furthermore, we've also come to the considered opinion that the old girl is looking a tad crusty round the edges. Now relax - there'll be none of that 'Wank 2.0' hooey that everyone else is banging on about. We'll just be tarting the place up a bit. Think of it as Christmas party slap: the first globule of which can be seen in the new logo shown above. The focus of the re-design is not to make the place look like some cheap, tinsel-tart tabloid, clothes-horse, smut-fest but rather to put usability first. Our thanks to Sean Doran and Suzanne for their help with this.

The New Kids

2006 saw Blather.net bring in some fresh faces. No, hang on. That's a bare-faced lie. They could hardly be described as 'fresh' but they are at least new to Blather. Nat King Coleslaw has made us piss ourselves laughing with an alarming frequency in The SnackBox Diaries, and Darren has brought us the demented Go Figure (which will get a proper launch shortly- honest guv). In addition, that filthy hack Birdbath somehow wormed his way over from p45.net to Blather and brought the thoroughly repulsive Globaleyes with him. Later that same month, Dan Brown met the knickerless one.

Meanwhile...

...Barry continues to regale us with tales from the North and Dave continues his one-man quest to save/photograph the planet in Abroad. Zeitgeist still brings you the sickest, weirdest news from around the world and our Forums have finally become an interesting place to spend some time. Sort of. Hell, even miss w. tod wrote a few bits and pieces for us.

The Annual Grovel

As always, we need to thank the folks at Hosting365.com without whom none of this would be possible. We love you we do. And finally, our sincere thanks to all of you who actually read Blather.net. God knows why you do, but you do. It's been nice having you - even if Barry does think you're 'contemptible scum'. We look forward to insulting, upsetting and generally appaling you into 2007.

'Do you get the smell of porter?'

So, we've won nothing, everyone hates us and we're still broke. It's just like old times then. And we love it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all. Flann bless everyone. Ye cunts.

+Art+

Elvis bauble by Darren. Xmas poster by Damien.

Demented? Fuck you, Go Figure is a serious drama, representative of the cold, heartless, plastic society we live in. Sweardagod.

I don't know where else to post this. I seem to have got snarled up in your system and am now showing up on the Tlak Blather Index as Blather.

Is there some "Ghost in the Machine"?

there's a problem with the forums just now. we're on the case.