Bus has asked that P45'ers create a version of an oath of allegiance to the Irish Flag. Here's my (ahem) contribution:

"I do hereby solemnly swear to uphold the great traditions of the Irish people, in all my actions, deeds and thoughts. Namely, I shall be a narrow minded begrudging bigot in the face of simple facts: I shall lie, cheat, steal, scam and cute-hoor my way through every business transaction that I ever conduct: I shall have memory lapses the size of a black hole when presented before any member of the judiciary: I shall demand the right to be treated like a King in any country that I visit and reign down a dictionary of curses on any foreigner stupid enough to stand in my way whilst in mine: I shall drive my car at breakneck speed through a one-donkey boreen after skulling my own body weight in alcohol and then complain that it's the states fault for curtailing drinking laws when I get busted: I shall, like a brain-dead, bovine fucking automaton without the basic ability to concentrate on anything more complex than Fair City, vote for the craven scumfucks in Fianna Fail: I shall do so fully knowing the history of Liam Lawlor, Charles Haughey and the myriad other criminal bastards that populate their ranks: I shall do absolutely everything within my power to see that no social progress of any description whatsoever is made, through an interminable letter-writing campaign to the Irish Times waffling out of me about the 'rare ould times': I shall mock any of my fellow countrymen who have the unmitigated audacity to go abroad and make some money or achieve even a sliver of success.

I, a child of Eireann, do swear all of this by the rusted bullets lodged in the walls of the GPO and in the full witness of the one true Catholic God who shall smite his northern heathen bastard enemies when his son comes riding into town opening up a can of biblical whoop-ass on their sorry orange butts."