So there I was. Watching TV. Having a nice time. All was dandy chez birdbath. All was hunky dory. All was deadly. All was Buzzin. And then the adverts started. And I had an idea. From now on, once a week if I can do it, I shall be naming the corporate whore of the week. This is an award which will go to the greatest media prostitute that has caught my attention in the last seven days.
So, let's begin shall we? This week's winner is...
Elton John.
Elton, old boy, old bean, you are a fucking whore. Just how much money do you actually have? Eh? How many hundreds of millions do you have in the bank? I understand that you probably blow a great deal of it on your little soirees with George and Geri, but frankly Elton were you that hard up recently that you decided to start whoring yourself to the bastards at $ky TV? What happend? Are you down to your last 500 milion?
Elton John wrote some great music in the 70's. No, scratch that. He wrote some superb music in the 70's. He even managed to bang out a couple of notable tunes in the 80's. The 90's unfortunately bore witness to Elton releasing one abortion of an album after another and the trend seems set to continue into the new century. But now, it seems we are all to be subjected to the truly apalling sight of Elton, croaking his way through 'Are you ready for love?' in order to promote the new Premiership football season on $ky. It is repugnant. The advert is repugnant. The costumes are repugnant. The saccharine fucking grin, which musters all the sincerity of a crack-whore prostitute, which is plasered across Elton's botox-riddled face is repugnant.
Elton John, you are the corporate whore of the week.
So you're not ready for love just yet then, BB?
It's a graet song. So fuck off. And what's with writing Sky as $ky? It's so fucking childish.
I just thought it was becuase he owned a football club ? or am I being stupid ??
Don,
My sincere apologies if i have ruined some juicy wank fantasy that you had which probably involved you hanging onto his hair plugs while he rogered you with a wodge of cash or something. Apologies.
Oh and a just a quick tip, have the cop-on to spell the word 'great' properly before you use it to defend something which quite clearly isn't...
Phew! BB, endearing yourself to the readership again? I don't agree...the award should go jointly to Madonna and Missy Elliot and their gap-touting fuckwaddery.
It's enough to put a man off his brown sauce encrusted half-pizza.
Shak,
she's next weeks...