I've been pretty miserable for the last few days, and yesterday saw what some would classify as a watershed. I just call it a 'fucking dog of a day'. A lot of this has to do with pent up anger. I am generally a pretty unpleasant, angry individual as it is, but the last few days has seen me going jihad for no explicable reason.
Some weeks ago, a friend here told me that I had lost my Mojo and that I was in urgent need of getting it back. I have no idea how to do so. In fact, I have no real idea what my Mojo even is, but it sounds important and I'd like it back. When I get an inkling of what it is and where it's been I'll let ye know about it.
However, over the last few days one thing has repeatedly made me laugh. It's a story that a Scottish friend of mine (we'll call him Samwise) told me last week. He is a fanatical Celtic fan and is forever regaling me with amusing stories regarding Celtic and Rangers players (who hit who, who threatened to kill who etc). The one that has been making me laugh concerns the original angry young man, Graeme Souness.
The story, so Samwise tells me, came from Kenny Dalglish's biography and concerns an incident at a Scottish International when Souness was Captain. The Scots were hosting a friendly (I think it was with Belgium) and the team was making its way down the tunnel. Souness was at the front carrying a ball. He noticed that the visitors has still not made their way out of the dressing room. Taking umbrage at this, so the story goes, Souness kicked the opposition dressing room open and launched the ball into the room with a ferocious kick.
I am reduced to tears at the image of a psychotic Scotsman, replete with perm, moustache and very small shorts wreaking havoc in an interntional dressing room, the ball ricocheting around the walls and the unfortunate Belgians grabbing their heads and ducking.
Perhaps it is a sign of my impending madness, but for some reason this is the funniest thing I have heard in years.
That description of an irate perm/moustache combo has my chucking too. You feeling any better today bb??
Can you imagine if it happened today? The player would be sent off before the game even started, instantly banned from playing pending and 'official investigation'. The official investigation would be delayed pending a police investigation which came about after unemployed 'Deco' in the crowd suffered emotional trauma as a result of the incident and lodged a complaint. 3 months later the police will issue the player with a formal warning regarding his behaviour, and reprimand the club for lack of security. 3 months after that, the official initial consulation hearing of the official football association, headed up by a committee of football association officials (and consultants) would begin. It would last 5 minutes before some official would request more time to look over the official documents and consult with the association of legal officials and consultants. The official initial consulation hearing of the football association would then be adjourned for 3 months while this goes ahead. 3 months later..
..I'm getting really bored of this.
...3 months later the player gets hit by a bus.