'Soccer Moms'. I just love that expression. It conjures so many wonderful images that I barely have space in this feeble little blog to do this most excellent of modern phrases such justice. Sad little man that I am, it summons for me images of gas-guzzling SUV's, ill-concieved football team names (Brokeback Mountain Fairies, Dusty Canyon Raiders) and slightly bewildered American children chasing a bag of wind around a patch of grass as their parents whoop, holler and scream blue murder at said child to chase said bag of wind around said patch of grass. Of course, all the stress aside there's the occasional fun road trip, eh?
Indeedy. And one such group of families, on one such trip recently found themselves sharing a hotel with not, as they may have expected, other 'Soccer families' but with a hotel full of horny swingers. Cue much embarrasment, Chevy Chase like comedy and gratuitous use of jokes involving the lines 'Crouching Peter, Hidden Talent'. Or is that 'Crouching Homo, Hidden Hamster'? Nevermind.
Paul Camporini brought his wife, seventh-grade daughter and eighth-grade son from Safety Harbor and said he had to "delicately explain to my Catholic school children that swingers change partners during the evening."
"My biggest gripe is that the hotel had two distinctly different groups under the same roof," said Camporini, 49. "A soccer team and middle-aged swingers should not have been booked together."
The families said the sexually adventurous partygoers sometimes flashed breasts and bare buttocks in front of the children as they sashayed through the hotel atrium. The parents described the dress at the Crowne Plaza Hotel-Airport in Orlando as "raunchy, despicable and worse than prostitutes."
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