The internet has always been an arena of mystery. A nebulous, unpoliced world where almost anyone can become famous - all you need is a snappy url, a clever graphic design and gratuitous use of the word 'cunt' and the next thing you know they'll be chucking TV deals and large-breasted, scantily-clad nymphettes at you. Sort of.

And of course, there are those odd figures whom the internet seem to make modern heroes of. You know the type: faded 80's icons who are painfully embarrasing to merely lay eyes on. Examples abound: Gary Cole, Chuck Norris, Mr. T and other too numerous to mention.

But above all the names which the internet in it's eternal wisdom has seen fit to celebrate, one name stands out above the others: David Hasselhoff.

There are websites, picture threads, t-shirts, mugs, beer mats, desktops, cunning in-movie references (see Dodgeball) and never ending oh-so-witty mails with another picture of the Hoff gyrating like a autistic porn-star on e.

So, I'm going to say this once and say it loud. Stop sending me fucking e-mails with pictures of David Hasselhoff. Stop sending me links. Stop saying 'the Hoff'. Stop it, stop it, stop it, you unoriginal, unfunny, uninventive bunch of fucking mongs. It's not funny. It's not ironic. It's not clever. It's just fucking shit.

The man was a woeful actor and should be appearing before the Hague from crimes against humanity (see Baywatch and or alarmingly successful muscial career in Germany and Austria) not being celebrated by infantile internet twats who are so degenerative that they think mining the 1980's for tacky, unbearable tat makes them hip and with it. It doesn't. It just makes you look like a mong.

The more observant amongst you will of course have noted that I have inserted a picture of Chuck Norris for your viewing pleasure. Because I know you wanted to see another Hasselhoff image, didn't you? You twat.