Oh man. As an Irishman living in England I have come to hold the BNP in the same regard as Sinn Fein - as a shower of fat obnoxious, fear-mongering, neanderthal-thick, tattooed scumbags hell-bent on re-creating a utopia which never existed in the first place.
So it was with considerbale amusement that I read a recent story in the news in which it emerged that Richard Barnbrook (of the BNP) once featured in a gay-porn flick. According to the Irish independent:
The film - HMS Discovery: A Love Story - includes long scenes of men undressing and fondling each other, including full-frontal nudity, naked men clawing passionately at each other's bodies while standing in a river, and a naked man apparently performing a sex act on another, according to the Evening Standard. In its election manifesto, the far-right BNP proposed a local vote so parents could decide if they want to 'prohibit the teaching of homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle choice'.
After laughing like a drain for about three hours, I had the sense to set P45ers' a challenge: name the very best BNP fag-porn so that we could collate the entries into one list. Ye know, for kids? And so, after some 3 hours of effort, here we have it:
Brokeback concentration camp. Thirty BNP heavies are incarcerated in a former cold war gulag (in sheffield) and arse-fucked to death by a gang of bad-boy london yardies. In the midst of the buggery, screaming and selected readings of 'mein camp-bastard' two men find an unlikely but touching love...
Bi-tanic. A love that dare not speak its name flowers between a man and a woman and another two men on a doomed nazi prison-ship.
Raiders of the lost arse. An elite group of BNP archaeologists set out in a desperate bid to retrieve the Ark of the Covenant from its' hidden location in Ethiopia before the nefarious Americans get there first. However, their epic journey is beset by troubles and adventure, most infamously in the 100-man cannibal gang-bang in a big pot 'o vaseline scene.
The Brown Mile. As part of an experimental trans-atlantic programme for criminal rehabilitation, a select band of renegade Combat 18 jail-birds get sent to 'Bubbas' Bum Palace and Hoosegow Penitentiary' in Fort Worth Texas, where they must face the ordeal of trial by "Unga-Bunga".
White men Can't Jump each other. A BNP training video explaining why members should leave the bum lovin' to the lesser races.
Carrion Kampfing. Mincing nazis bugger corpses.
Black Hunter White Arse. A tale of a true British man's quest for anal integrity in the African Jungle. May contain nuts.
Das Booty. A moist damp tale of seamen diving into the unknown. Salty.
Mutton-dagger doppelganger. Whilst on duty in Iraq, a chance buggering from a prodigiously-membered Taleban scholar leaves Eric, a young soldier and BNP member, feeling bereft and alone. Now it's three years later and Erics' life has descended into a drug-fuelled search for a big-black cock that can tickle his little crevices.
The Hunt for White October. An epic tale of heroism and romance on board the BNP submarine White October which is relentlessy pursued by the Submarine killer HMS Integration. Cringe as the ass virgin's whimpering alerts the enemy sonar-men, cheer as John Smith empties his torpedo tubes...
The Great Asscape. Several hundred Allied POWs plan a mass escape from a German POW (Poof Of War) camp. During routine exercise time the poofs execute a daring plan to tunnel through the dirt under a jumphorse. Flight Lt. Sandy MacDonald starts out butt can't quite make it over the horse, Chalky Rogers comes over to help from behind...
Bulbous Bags stars in Bored of the Rings! A sad tale of a jaded BNP queen, who has shagged his way through the finest of British elvish manhood, but cannot get rid of the ennui. Watch as he grasps Gandalf's wand. Cheer as he buggers Arrahorn (half-elf, half-Kerryman). Not even athletic rimfucking from Legoverass can satisfy him. A quick session with Gobblem does nothing.
British History XXX. A powerful moving tale of British nazi, sent to prison for murder and the unlikey love that springs up as he and a black man redeem each other while cleaning the underpants of the other prisoners. In the end he learns, true love is colourblind. And that he should have used some lube.
Who creamed Richard Barnbrook? Semi-animated romp in which BNP councillors and their cartoon friends try to "get to the bottom" of the mystery of who "creamed" Richard Barnbrook. Starring Richard Barnbrook as himself, with Bums Buddies, Deputy Dong, Milky Mouse and Droopy.
More:
Original thread here
(MANCHESTER) Sir Alex Ferguson has fired God, the Archangels and several hundred prominent saints in a dramtic close-season Old Trafford/Heaven clear-out. Details are scant at this stage but sources close to the football club have indicated that the manager's decision stemmed from a percieved lack of committment from the Almighty.
