Tuesday, 20 June 2006. I'm in a bar in north London, watching the England vs. Sweden game. There's about 400 people in the bar, singing chanting and generally having a great time. English, Irish, American, Israeli, Swedish and everything else in between.

After about five minutes, those of us at the far end of the bar begin to notice something odd: the three hundred people who are watching in the main section of the bar seem to be recieving the television pictures about three seconds after we do. Everytime that Rooney charges at the Swedes, a scream goes up from our end, followed by the inevitable 'Ooooooooo shit...' as he fails to bury it. Those in the delayed section are anxiously snapping their heads from left to right, desparate to know what's going to happen. Stuck in a three-second time-warp the majority of the pub are tortured with indecision: should they stay where they are, or try to keep an eye on those with the 'future' screens to see the result of each attack as it happens?

33 minutes

Joe Cole stands 35 yards out. A defender clears to him. He chests it, lets it drop and unleashes one of the most ridiculous shots I've ever seen: a searing, looping volley which arcs perfectly from left to right, swooping over the keepers head and in the top corner. Fuck me. Then, it happens. Remember, we're three seconds ahead and when our area explodes in cacophanous noise, every single person in the other section of the bar, in perfect unison, violently snaps their head left and then instantly back to the right, giving 400 England fans a severe case of whiplash.

I haven't laughed like that in quite a while.