Lepreporn: The Horror (The Horror!) of Irish Porn

| 17 Comments

Tuggers of the Interweb Unite

Now. If you're perusing this you are likely to be a member of one of two categories of reader. You are either a regular Blather or Globaleyes reader who has wandered in here and is currently wondering what on earth this is all about or, you are a member of that second group of readers who has googled the words 'irish porn' or 'lepreporn' and found your way here. Whatever your reasons, allow me to save you a wasted kleenex, £6.95 and a possible trip to a shrink.header_globaleyes_mini.jpg

Heavy breathing

Last year, our sister blog Shitegeist carried a piece concerning the emergence of what has become known as 'Lepreporn' - the nascent Irish porn industry. And judging by the constant google traffic from people searching for this term, there seems to be considerable interest in the subject. God help the lot of ye.

'Sniff, sniff'

What I do know is this. Irish porn is real. It's out there. And it's for sale. How do I know this? Well...

Last Xmas just gone, a mate of mine (for once that isn't a euphemism - I'd admit to buying it if I had) was home from Spain, who presented me with a burned DVD. It was the imaginatively titled 'Fucked in Ireland'. Now, lookit, I don't have any moral soap box to jump up and down on about this (I really don't) it's just that, well, how do I put this, it's fucking awful.

'ROIDE ME YE MAD CUNT YA'

'Fucked in Ireland', is a grotesque, ninety-minute barf-fest of pythonesque absurdity. I manged to watch about five minutes. For the first two , myself and the mate were convulsed with good manly back-slapping 'would you look at the head on yer man' laughter, but as the seconds rolled by, our initial mirth gave way to a slow creeping horror - a horror (the horror!) akin to watching a slow-motion sexual car crash.

It's one thing to hear mid-coitus encouragements roared into camera in an American or German accent (as it should be), but it's entirely another when choice phrases such as 'fuck me you dirty cunt ye' are yelled out in a nasal, north-Dublin screech that you could shatter reinforced glass with.

Add to that the fact that this is one seriously rough bunch of folk we're talking about here (a gang of oompa-loompa faced brassers getting remorselessly speared by a pack of hulking great hairy-arses) and it all adds up to one deeply traumtising viewing experience. Think 'Society' meets 'Your sister's home wedding video'. Or something. Something worse.

Anyway, in summary, rating the movie on the Big Birdbath StiffyOmoter (patent pending), 'Fucked in Ireland' doesn't so much get a floppy one out of ten, as much as it gets a 'dear God, my balls just shrank back up into my stomach' minus two. Avoid like the clap.

+More+

Lepreporn - the adventure continues on the Snackbox diaries

17 Comments

South Dublin I think, One of the lads in work knew her. A former Employee of Mizzoni's in Tallaght

Right so, i'll take it off my amazon wishlist then.

If you want real horror in porn, you should check out English porn. Here's a couple of links to articles in the Guardian.
http://film.guardian.co.uk/features/featurepages/0,,1400998,00.html
http://arts.guardian.co.uk/features/story/0,,1808722,00.html
Robin Asquith, Alfie Bass, they're all there.

Is "Esprit" magazine still going? And I do remember sex phone lines advertised in the Sunday World with fascinating taglines like "Fermanagh Fetish".

And Dave3rave, those aren't porn, they're fairly lightweight sex comedies that got promoted as porn.

Feck me! Feck my arse!

haha ur a funny cunt thats standup shit right there


This has NOTHING
to do with this article (I think)

FFRF.ORG (Shhhhh)


Ed in USA

(NO,I didn't vote
for him!)

The fuckin cheek of you, do you know how hard it was to film that. Its only fuckin acting. Have you nothing better to do with your time than slagging me off.

Oi! EIRE! i hear there's a lepreporn 3. or at least that's what a google search from yesterday said. so tell me, does anyone, at any point, shout 'begob!' at a critical moment in this great Jacksonian trilogy?

Does anyone shout "Tá mé ag teacht?"

Bejaysus, well with such a review, I have to see this oirish banal attempt of porn for "research" purposes only.

i dont tink theres alot of opend minded people in tallaht or ireland at that i stard in that porn dvd and dont think anyting of it and i am prod of it no matter what anyone has to say..but just rember one day it could be one of ur family,freinds,childern,granchildern,and would use tink the same or suport them in what they do or judge them in the way ues judge use.////

Yasmin darling. Can you tell us a bit more about making the movie? How long did it take? Did you get paid well? Was it fun? or was it a difficult thing to do...

eh-i
feckin take it up the shitter you hairy Irish freak!

i found fucked in irelamd the biggest joke every.. i laffed from start to finch

fair play to yasmin and eire. this country is so fecking backward.
you'll always get the begrudgers

will there be anymore fucked in ireland made, i loved them, i have 1,2,&3 on dvd

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This page contains a single entry by birdbath published on June 18, 2006 7:41 PM.

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