The Roar of the Twink
Bejesus. Twink, for those of you who don't know, is something of a household name in Ireland: a veteran of the cabaret and light entertainment scene this last thirty years. And whilst no-one could claim her to be national treasure in the mould of a Flann or a David Norris, she does hold a certain place in Irish peoples' hearts.
Indeed, I recall with misty-eyed nostalgia, that time when a ten-year-old birdbath was attending a cabaret act with the Ma and Da, and having waved across the room to my sister, found a spotlight trained on my position and Twink charging towards me, arms outstreched: obviously the poor lady had made the mistake of thinking that I was waving at her. Ever the entertainer, and fearing not the great unwashed, she proceeded to slap a great big wet kiss on my freckled mush and, perhaps, inadvertently started the ball rolling on a life of rank perversion and vile, sexual depravity. But I digress.
Anyhoosa, Twink has made the discussion forums light up with chatter today upon the release of what is alleged to be a voice-message that she left on her ex-husbands' phone. I won't waste any time trying to describe the sublime volley of insults that she (if it is indeed Twink) lets fly at her ex and his new missus. Yer best off listening for yerself...
Twink, old girl, you rock.
Update!
We don't know who just yet, but some genius has taken samples of Twinks' uber-rant and remixed it to break-beat perfection. You can hear it by clicking here. Warning: this is liable to make you piss yerself laughing. Use headphones.
This could spark the mother of all comebacks. Whoever was responsible for releasing the original recording did so with the express purpose of damaging Twink - an attempt to portray her as the classic spurned wife gone hormonally jihad. Problem is, it's backfired: resulting in her ex looking like a twat and her being re-born as an internet phenomena. Make no mistake, the phrase 'Zip up yer mickey' has just entered the language.
Update the second!
Christ on a hoverboard. In the middle of writing the previous paragraph, I recieved an e-mail to show me that someone has already done this:
You can buy it here
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Comments
I never respected her before, but by God I do now! Twink is the business!!!
Posted by: barry | September 1, 2006 8:30 PM
Links to background info on Twink's marriage breakup:
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4161/is_20041010/ai_n12911003
http://archives.tcm.ie/irishexaminer/2005/09/17/story129789798.asp
Posted by: barry | September 2, 2006 6:28 PM
hello!! superb soundbyte if ever i heard one.. here is a frequency table of expletives used
bastard:6
whore:5
fuck/fucking:5
dickhead:3
middle-aged (ed insult?):2
mickey:2
prick:2
slut:1
limerick:1
fat:1
bald:1
idiot:1
stupid 1
Posted by: billy_skills | September 2, 2006 7:01 PM
Go Twink. Fair play to you.
Posted by: Angela | September 8, 2006 3:46 PM
I think you're great Twink.. he's a bastard! And you should wear the teeshirt!
(your no. one fan!)
Posted by: indigo | September 13, 2006 4:03 PM
I've heard the remix but I can't get to the original recording; the link goes to the warlords of pez...
Posted by: Whoozee | September 14, 2006 12:47 PM
My bad... it worked this time
Ah dat was fookin great, g'an yerself hen.
Posted by: whoozee | September 14, 2006 12:52 PM
This is so 1-sided! Frankly Twink is a bitter, twisted, hypocritical, old woman!!. I used to socialise in her company a few years ago, and at a no. of dinner parties, I listened to her regale the audience with stories of her need to "have an affair at least once every 3-4 months" or in her own words, "I'd go mad!!" .
Regulars at these soirees were happy to confirm their believe the truth of what she was saying!!!.....
What a vengefull old woman!!!......
Posted by: Jack | December 6, 2006 12:48 PM