Estate Agents Wanted
Are you a bare-faced liar? Can you slither, oooze, worm and crawl your way through the day, with the express intention of ripping people off for every cent they have? Can you bring people to a mould-covered, fit-to-be condemned shit hole of a flat and keep a straight face while you say it's worth seven hundred a month? Are you willing to sell your very soul to Satan himself and dedicate your existence to being a unctuous, sub-human shitehawk in the pay of other unctuous, sub-human shitehawks?
Are you an illiterate, dishonest, money-grasping shit of a human who can dedicate his life to a profession populated by the kind of odious, venal scumbags that make hitmen look like aid workers?
If this sounds like you, your local estate agents want to hear from you. We're in the middle of an enormous recruitment drive right now and are hiring 2,000 new employees. 6,000 joined our ranks last year, but due to unforseen market forces (2,132 suicides and 1,768 fatal beatings) we need to swell our bloated ranks even more than before.
+Benefits+
Lie to people! Rip them off! Laugh your arse off as you squeeze 17 Chinese workers into a dog-shed and charge them a thousand clams a month! Look the other way as some of them starve to death! Don't declare it to the Government! Make a fuckin' fortune! Be a complete cunt!
+Terms and conditions+
A taste for shit suits, appaling ties, arse-bandit hairstyles and a large collection of venereal diseases a must.
+Contact+
e-mail us at: spunkmaggot@lyingcunt.com
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Comments
Pure foburg man.
Posted by: ro_G | October 19, 2006 4:19 PM
Can I use your ad for my own recruitment campaign? I need some car salesmen.
Posted by: Humpydog | October 19, 2006 5:06 PM