And My Heaven Will Be A Big Heaven, And I Will Walk Through The Front Door
[Interior. Birdbath's flat. Groggy, hungover and in serious need of sugar and salt, birdbath stirs from behind the fug of smoke surrounding the couch, reaches for his mobile and calls the pizza joint]
ring ring
Pizza Chick: Good evening. This is Claudia spekaing at Fat Al's All-Night Pizza and Kebab Slophouse. How may I help you today Mr. Birdbath?
bb: Well, I'd like a... hang on. How the hell do you know my name?
Pizza Chick: [giggles] Oh well when you call us your phone number comes up on our display. It tells me where you live and who you are.
bb: Really? You serious? Isn't that a bit, well, you know...
Pizza Chick: Invasive? Rude? Utterly none of our business?
bb: Yeahhhhh. Well, anyway...
Pizza Chick: Yes. So would you like to order a medium Pepperoni Passion, Chicken strippers and a medium bottle of regular Coke?
bb: Yes that would be... What the...? How the...?
Pizza Chick: Well sir, that's what you normally order, isn't it? Twice a week in fact. Now would you like us to send around a Latvian hooker to keep you company whilst you fester in a pile of your own crap, you sad bed-sit dwelling spring-roll shuffler?
bb: What?
Pizza Chick: Would you like some Ice-cream sir?
bb: I uhm... I ehm... Well, I suppose...
Pizza Chick: And perhaps a 50 bag and some skins, you spliff-chomping waste of a good fucking liver?
bb: Wassa? WHA?
Pizza Chick: Garlic Bread sir? Would you like some?
bb: [whimpers]
Pizza Chick: Excellent sir. That'll cost £25.55 and will take fourty minutes to deliver. Will you be paying by card or scrabbling in your pockets for every loose bit of cash you have and then not tipping the driver?
bb: I... uhm... cash. Thankyou...
Pizza Chick: Cash it is then sir, you miserable tight-wad fucknut. Enjoy your evening's tugging sir. Bye bye now, bye bye.
bb: What the... ? Who...? How much was that?
+Choon+
Gorlliaz (Dare) vs. Peter Gabriel (Big Time). Remix by Bobby Martini. Download the track.
+Art+
Taken in Valencia, May 2007.
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Comments
eh, the 90's want their clever and inventive, if ultimatley annoying, music back
Seriously lad what rock have you been under to only become aware of this shite in the last few months, or are you one of those who actualy liked this the first time round and are trying to bring it back, well stop I tell ya it'll ondly end in tears
Q.E.D.
(caution this video is not for consumption by the young, old, infirmed, those with weak heart conditions or Basicly anyone with musical taste)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7958669iFu0
this is why it was stopped the first time round
Posted by: podge | June 12, 2007 4:13 AM
It's nice
Posted by: fish_hfd | June 30, 2007 11:02 AM