Aleister Crowley: The Musical

The latest musical revue from the Blather Productions stable...

Blather Productions is proud to publish material from our latest show, Aleister Crowley - The Musical, an authentic 'Smash Hit' in the West End. This glorius occult revue features original music by the notorious Ragged Rag-Time Girls, and libretto by the award-winning socialite, Barry Lloyd-Kavanagh.

And here now - in amazing technicolour, we give you snippets from some of these fantastic musical numbers:

THE EARLY YEARS SONG

ALEISTER: I was booorn in Leamington Spaaa
You don't know how luck you aaare!
I was booorn in 1875
It's a wonder how I surviiived:
My family were Christian fanaaatics
And my mother thought I was sataaanic!
FAERIES: What happened then?
ALEISTER: I went to Cambridge!
FAERIES: Purpose?
ALEISTER: Cultivate my genius!
FAERIES: Achieved?
ALEISTER: I published my own poems,
And plaaayed an awful lot of chessssss!
[FAERIES FALL ASLEEP]

THE HOUSE PURCHASE SONG

ALEISTER: I'm a laird! I have a home by Loch Ness!
MONSTER: Och, nooo! Anither wee pest!

THE GOLDEN DAWN CHOROUS

[ALEISTER BARGES INTO THE LONDON LODGE OF THE HERMETIC ORDER OF THE GOLDEN DAWN, WEARING HIGHLAND DRESS, A BLACK MASK AND CARRYING A GILT DAGGER]
ALEISTER: I'm the Envoy Extraordinary of Sam MacGregor Mathers!
WB YEATS: Jaysus, you're the Envoy of a feckin' bloody looper
ALEISTER [THOUGHTFUL]: I'll admit that that gentleman is a little eccentric
WB YEATS: He's a bleedin' chancer, now get the feck ow-of-it!
[WB PICKS UP ALEISTER AND HURLS HIM BODILY OFF THE STAGE]

THE 1904 SONG

ALEISTER: It's hot in this chamber, Cairo is hot!
AIWAZ: Look behind you, Al! I'm the messenger of Set!
ALEISTER: Agh! Agh! I just shat in my kilt!
AIWAZ: Just write this down: 'Do what thou wilt' !!!

THE VISION AND THE (BIG SINGING) VOICE (NUMBER)

ALEISTER: Ah, the desert sands -
VICTOR NEUBERG: The perfect place
ALEISTER: For an Enochian situation!
Now, bend over
Prepare yourself
VICTOR NEUBERG: For further illumination?

O.T.O.

THEODOR REUSS: Young man, there's a group you can join
I said, young man, when you're short on your coin
You can join them, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It's fun to join the O.T.O.
It's fun to join the O.T.O.
They have everything
For young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
[with apologies to the Village People]

THE ABBEY OF THELEMA HYMN

ALEISTER: Somewhere
There's a place for us,
Somewhere a place for us.
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere. (Sicily)
[with apologies to Stephen Sondheim]

THE EXPULSION ANTHEM

MUSSOLINI: You-a get out-a my country!
ALEISTER: But Italia surely needs magick?
MUSSOLINI: You-a get out-a my country!
ALEISTER: But Italia surely needs smack addicts?
MUSSOLINI: You-a get out-a my country!
ALEISTER: Can't we negotiate?
MUSSOLINI: You-a get out-a my country!
ALEISTER: Is it really too late?
LEAH HIRSIG: Mamma mia!

BANKRUPT SMACKHEAD BLUES

ALEISTER: I'm a bankrupt, babe, chasin' dragons from the earth
I'm a bankrupt, baby, chasin' dragons from the earth.
Well, I'm a bankrupt, babe, sell you twenty kilos worth.
I'm a bankrupt, babe, bangin' on your window pane
I'm a bankrupt, baby, bangin' on your window pane.
Well, I'm a bankrupt, babe, I need my high in my vein.
[with apologies to Neil Young]

Stay tuned for the next exciting musical offspring from blather.net - your no1 old-timey music source!

Will there be a nude singing number a la Hair?

did i ever tell you about the Tindersticks tribute band i started about ten years back. We were called the FishFinger Sticks and I rewrote the complete Tindersticks first album with each and every song based on fish and poultry.

Example: Patchwork becomes Fishworks

"I know its prawns, I know its shellfish
They've such a short shelf life ....
.... give me some basil and thyme"

Great! Howabout
Al and Israel Regardie

ro_g I suggest you send Blather the entire album's worth so we can put it online! I would love to relax at home listening to that album, following your lyrics as I go...