Ez-Spin: Mops up messes in mere minutes!

Introducing the smart way to remove unwanted spots and stains from your career!

Cranky?
Irritable?
Feeling a bit depressed?
Is the UN on your case?
Is Amnesty International camped out on your doorstep holding a candlelight vigil?
Do you see Weapons of Mass Destruction everywhere?
Do you feel threatened by German cuisine?
Does the world scare you?
Started a war you can’t finish?
Are your armed forces doing things they shouldn’t?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, then you need new EZ-Spin. Used for years by those in the know, EZ-Spin is the world’s
favourite way to get out of a tight spot. Fast, Effective and Easy to Use:
EZ-Spin – Diffusing Atrocities for thousands of years.

EZ-Spin Deluxe package includes:
Lackeeze – Lackeeze are specially formulated to ensure you are never alone in your decisions. Also available in handy pocket-sized EXTRA Spineless (Contains 2)
Plow-o-Matic – A handy way to bury unwanted things. (People, leaked CIA documents, prisons, etc.) Comes with full sized plow, wrecking ball and 2 sticks of dynamite. Also comes with EZ-Shovel for those urgent cases when you need a dig out.
The Lobotomizer – Use it on your friends! Use it on your enemies! Use it on yourself! Hours of Party Fun!
ScapeGoat – Bash ‘em! Mash ‘Em! Smash ‘Em! ScapeGoats take it all and come back smiling! (Available in bumper pack of 50)

If you order now we will throw in absolutely free a copy of Pol Pot’s
recently uncovered masterpiece ‘1001 Excuses for Genocide’ including ‘I didn’t do it’ and ‘Some of my best friends are (insert minority of your
choice)’

EZ-Spin is a subsidiary of Doublespeak PLC.

Disclaimer: We didn’t do it.

German cuisine? Isn't that an oxymoron, like American dignity?