"Oh, I think she's only great', said Mrs. Sweeney, a strapping widow of 87. 'I hadn't worn my school uniform in 60 years. I got it out of the moth-balls, and got the son-in-law to drive me for a night on the tiles in Portlaoise. I hear there's talks of her playing Mountmellick soon. I can't wait!"

Seamus Collick, of Aughnacliffe, Co. Longford appears to have designs on Britney; "Sure isn't she only great? The best news all week sure is that she got that weddin' to that young lad cancelled after the fact. I've been sending her electric emails all week, with fierce hot stuff in them. I've told her me milk quota and how much set-aside I have. When the rest of her appears over here, I'll be taking her for a night out in the The Boomerang Bar in Granard!"

Further rumour mongering has centered on what purports to be a photo of the phantom jab, which is currently doing the rounds by the electric e-mail. We are unable to publish it at this time, pending legal consultations. When we have finished our deliberations we shall endeavour to bring you a pristine shot of Britney's tit(s).

More as we get it...

Update: 19 January 2004
The phenomenon is mentioned in the Ballyhoo Examiner! »