Shitegeist: Featured Articles
Large Hadron Collider unleashes army of polite, chocolate-eating zombies
Posted by damien at 5:49 PM on September 10, 2008
[GENEVA] A mere two hours after the ignition of the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Geneva, a giant army of chocolate-eating zombies has reportedly swept across Switzerland and over the border from Basel into Germany where outbreaks of apologetic biting and collaborative law-making have been reported in cities from Munich to Hamburg.
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Posted by damien at 5:49 PM on September 10, 2008
[GENEVA] A mere two hours after the ignition of the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Geneva, a giant army of chocolate-eating zombies has reportedly swept across Switzerland and over the border from Basel into Germany where outbreaks of apologetic biting and collaborative law-making have been reported in cities from Munich to Hamburg.
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Comments (6)
Blather Labs presents the 'Mong-O-Matic' Time-Delayed Weed Dispenser
Posted by damien at 11:10 AM on August 30, 2008
Ladies! Are you going on holiday? Are you regularly away on business? Are you worried that during your absence your useless lump of a man will spend his time getting repeatedly muntered and horsing great bags of salted snacks down his already fattened gullet until you arrive home to discover a grossly overweight slug where your significant other used to be? Well, worry no more: Blather Labs presents the 'Mong-O-Matic' Time-Delayed Weed Dispenser.
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Posted by damien at 11:10 AM on August 30, 2008
Ladies! Are you going on holiday? Are you regularly away on business? Are you worried that during your absence your useless lump of a man will spend his time getting repeatedly muntered and horsing great bags of salted snacks down his already fattened gullet until you arrive home to discover a grossly overweight slug where your significant other used to be? Well, worry no more: Blather Labs presents the 'Mong-O-Matic' Time-Delayed Weed Dispenser.
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Presenting the 'Blather Book Handling Service'
Posted by birdbath at 6:11 PM on June 1, 2008
Thinking about ordering Blather.net's new book 'A Load of Blather' but don't know if you'll have the time to read it? Are you concerned that a tell-tale pristine copy will trash your cred with the kids? Worried your friends might think you only bought the book to have something bohemian and trendy lying around in the shitter?
Fear ye not, for the makers of 'A Load of Blather' are proud to present the 'Blather Book Handling Service'. For a mere €159.99 (an hour) we'll dog-ear, tea-stain, underline and generally batter the crap out of the thing so that it looks like it's been used as a crude weapon during a vicious battle to the death at a UFO crash-site, when, let's face it, the closest you're ever likely to get to one is down the cinema at the new Indiana Jones flick. By the time we're done spending your money servicing your whole library, visitors to your home will think you 'iz well cool', members of the opposite sex will you find you oddly alluring and random strangers will want to give you money.
Allegedly.
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Posted by birdbath at 6:11 PM on June 1, 2008
Thinking about ordering Blather.net's new book 'A Load of Blather' but don't know if you'll have the time to read it? Are you concerned that a tell-tale pristine copy will trash your cred with the kids? Worried your friends might think you only bought the book to have something bohemian and trendy lying around in the shitter?
Fear ye not, for the makers of 'A Load of Blather' are proud to present the 'Blather Book Handling Service'. For a mere €159.99 (an hour) we'll dog-ear, tea-stain, underline and generally batter the crap out of the thing so that it looks like it's been used as a crude weapon during a vicious battle to the death at a UFO crash-site, when, let's face it, the closest you're ever likely to get to one is down the cinema at the new Indiana Jones flick. By the time we're done More >>
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The Assassination of Noam Chomsky: Which Flying Saucer Acted Alone?
Posted by barry at 4:55 PM on April 13, 2008
No doubt you remember where you were when you heard about the shocking and horrible events of February 28. Feared academic, writer, rambler and digressionator, Noam Chomsky, was killed by a lone flying saucer in Antarctica, alongside his many lawyers.
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Comments (5)
Posted by barry at 4:55 PM on April 13, 2008
No doubt you remember where you were when you heard about the shocking and horrible events of February 28. Feared academic, writer, rambler and digressionator, Noam Chomsky, was killed by a lone flying saucer in Antarctica, alongside his many lawyers.
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Comments (5)
Blather Meets... Britney
Posted by blather at 1:34 PM on June 23, 2006
Earlier this week, blather.net dispatched crack reporter Dan Brown to meet with the diminutive American pop-star, Britney Spears, for an exclusive interview. What followed was an intimate conversation over some fine wines, posh nosh and a wayward Bush.
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Posted by blather at 1:34 PM on June 23, 2006
Earlier this week, blather.net dispatched crack reporter Dan Brown to meet with the diminutive American pop-star, Britney Spears, for an exclusive interview. What followed was an intimate conversation over some fine wines, posh nosh and a wayward Bush.
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Comments (2)
Blather Wins Prestigious Blather Award
Posted by barry at 11:26 PM on March 14, 2006
Despite the prolific downing of bottles, jeroboams and even buckets of alcoholic liquid, no-one approached the toilets; the tension ran so high in that room that we just sweated it out. The question on our minds was: who would win the prestigious Blather Award for 2006? The competition was fierce; everyone had a chance this year.
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Posted by barry at 11:26 PM on March 14, 2006
Despite the prolific downing of bottles, jeroboams and even buckets of alcoholic liquid, no-one approached the toilets; the tension ran so high in that room that we just sweated it out. The question on our minds was: who would win the prestigious Blather Award for 2006? The competition was fierce; everyone had a chance this year.
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Comments (1)
IRA announce massive redundancies
Posted by damien at 4:27 PM on January 22, 2006
Outsourcing, globalisation and increased cost of knee-capping blamed by regional IRA commanders. 'A disaster for the whole fuckin' community' says murky, balaclava-wearing figure.
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Posted by damien at 4:27 PM on January 22, 2006
Outsourcing, globalisation and increased cost of knee-capping blamed by regional IRA commanders. 'A disaster for the whole fuckin' community' says murky, balaclava-wearing figure.
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Blatherskyte Industries release 'BeanFlickr2.0': Quality Wankcasting For Free.
Posted by damien at 6:00 PM on December 1, 2005
Do you spend your days twittering like an inane idiot in online chat clients? Are you having a long-distance relationship with a woman who claims she loves you madly but who you secretly suspect is shagging her way across the European Union? Want a change to your usual online heavy breathing antics? Wanna see your missus mash her big soapy tits into a webcam and jiggle like a bellydancer at 12 frames a second? Then we've got the thing for you: Blatherskyte Industries release BeanFlickr 2.0 (play annoying jingle) : quality webcam smut for the wanking masses.
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Posted by damien at 6:00 PM on December 1, 2005
Do you spend your days twittering like an inane idiot in online chat clients? Are you having a long-distance relationship with a woman who claims she loves you madly but who you secretly suspect is shagging her way across the European Union? Want a change to your usual online heavy breathing antics? Wanna see your missus mash her big soapy tits into a webcam and jiggle like a bellydancer at 12 frames a second? Then we've got the thing for you: Blatherskyte Industries release BeanFlickr 2.0 (play annoying jingle) : quality webcam smut for the wanking masses.
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Horse it into me big fella
Posted by damien at 9:37 AM on July 29, 2005
Yesterday, we brought you the news that an American man had died whilst shagging a horse. Now, we bring you this exclusive on the scene report from our man in the States, Alex DeJong.
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Comments (32)
Posted by damien at 9:37 AM on July 29, 2005
Yesterday, we brought you the news that an American man had died whilst shagging a horse. Now, we bring you this exclusive on the scene report from our man in the States, Alex DeJong.
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Comments (32)
Lepreporn - Where Dreams Are Made
Posted by sue at 9:52 AM on April 26, 2005
Small men. Green pants. Handycams and a pot of 2000 euro. You just can’t make this stuff up...
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Comments (37)
Posted by sue at 9:52 AM on April 26, 2005
Small men. Green pants. Handycams and a pot of 2000 euro. You just can’t make this stuff up...
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The Blather Guide to Drool
Posted by barry at 11:47 AM on April 25, 2005
Think you know about music? Do ya? Well, Summer 2005 is going to be wet!
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Posted by barry at 11:47 AM on April 25, 2005
Think you know about music? Do ya? Well, Summer 2005 is going to be wet!
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Blather presents 'PopeIdol!' Day 1: Who should get the job?
Posted by damien at 2:12 PM on April 4, 2005
As JP2 shuffles off the mortal coil, the hype has started to build. Who will be the next Pope? We have a few ideas...
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Comments (20)
Posted by damien at 2:12 PM on April 4, 2005
As JP2 shuffles off the mortal coil, the hype has started to build. Who will be the next Pope? We have a few ideas...
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Comments (20)
Superman refuses to rescue cat from tree
Posted by damien at 2:10 PM on April 1, 2005
Shock and dismay as the man of steel flounces off in a huff. "Enough is fuc*ing enough" says Kryptonian underpant lover...
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Posted by damien at 2:10 PM on April 1, 2005
Shock and dismay as the man of steel flounces off in a huff. "Enough is fuc*ing enough" says Kryptonian underpant lover...
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BastardGate : the awful truth about Ireland's single mothers
Posted by damien at 4:03 PM on March 18, 2005
Last month's 'mutha' of all rows about single mothers led us to do some filthy hack work of our own. And did we what? Blather.net now presents its' groundbreaking investigative report. Warning: some readers may find the contents of this report forcing them to burn Swatstikas into their foreheads..
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Comments (4)
Posted by damien at 4:03 PM on March 18, 2005
Last month's 'mutha' of all rows about single mothers led us to do some filthy hack work of our own. And did we what? Blather.net now presents its' groundbreaking investigative report. Warning: some readers may find the contents of this report forcing them to burn Swatstikas into their foreheads..
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Comments (4)
Corkman goes three hours without mentioning Cork
Posted by damien at 10:24 AM on March 14, 2005
'Outrageous and absurd' says Dublin Professor of History, Dr. Hummus Fitzgerald...
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Posted by damien at 10:24 AM on March 14, 2005
'Outrageous and absurd' says Dublin Professor of History, Dr. Hummus Fitzgerald...
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Abroad - Yet Another Bloody Weblog
Posted by daev at 10:42 AM on March 8, 2005
I've started a new personal weblog for stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else.
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Posted by daev at 10:42 AM on March 8, 2005
I've started a new personal weblog for stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else.
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The Village: The Prisoner Comes To Galway.
Posted by sue at 3:34 PM on March 6, 2005
"I'm not a number, I'm a free patient"!
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Posted by sue at 3:34 PM on March 6, 2005
"I'm not a number, I'm a free patient"!
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Tighty Whities Terrorise Virginians
Posted by damien at 1:51 PM on February 11, 2005
Stateside report from our man in New York, Alex DeJong
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Comments (6)
Posted by damien at 1:51 PM on February 11, 2005
Stateside report from our man in New York, Alex DeJong
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Wheelie bins of the apocalypse
Posted by damien at 1:48 PM on January 22, 2005
Sent in from our western correspondent' (a.k.a. Sue)
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Posted by damien at 1:48 PM on January 22, 2005
Sent in from our western correspondent' (a.k.a. Sue)
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School of Comic Phisics Opens in Dublin
Posted by daev at 6:50 PM on December 17, 2004
Is this a joke? A clown college? Ah, if Oskie Wilde were only alive to see it now...
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Comments (2)
Posted by daev at 6:50 PM on December 17, 2004
Is this a joke? A clown college? Ah, if Oskie Wilde were only alive to see it now...
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Select DVD menu...
Posted by damien at 5:30 PM on December 9, 2004
Select DVD menu. Select November 2004. Select play.
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Posted by damien at 5:30 PM on December 9, 2004
Select DVD menu. Select November 2004. Select play.
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Canada completes main human cull
Posted by daev at 10:04 AM on April 19, 2004
A slight shift in perspective... from Blather.net, inverting the news since 1997...
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Posted by daev at 10:04 AM on April 19, 2004
A slight shift in perspective... from Blather.net, inverting the news since 1997...
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Blather's Express Tours. See Ireland at High Speed!
Posted by daev at 10:34 AM on April 6, 2004
By our satirist-at-large, Elimare...
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Posted by daev at 10:34 AM on April 6, 2004
By our satirist-at-large, Elimare...
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Aleister Crowley: The Musical
Posted by daev at 5:30 PM on March 31, 2004
The latest musical revue from the Blather Productions stable...
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Posted by daev at 5:30 PM on March 31, 2004
The latest musical revue from the Blather Productions stable...
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Gulf War 2: Daddy's crusade
Posted by damien at 12:57 PM on March 24, 2004
Blather productions is proud to announce the DVD release of last years' smash box office hit, Gulf War 2: Daddy's crusade...
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Posted by damien at 12:57 PM on March 24, 2004
Blather productions is proud to announce the DVD release of last years' smash box office hit, Gulf War 2: Daddy's crusade...
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7 insane days... (In Valencia, Spain)
Posted by damien at 3:12 PM on March 16, 2004
The following are, in no particular order of importance, some of the things I have seen over the last seven days or so in Spain:
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Posted by damien at 3:12 PM on March 16, 2004
The following are, in no particular order of importance, some of the things I have seen over the last seven days or so in Spain:
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Britney's Breasts: Mysterious Breast Appears At Ireland's Catholic Grottos
Posted by damien at 4:26 PM on January 12, 2004
Thousands of pilgrims make now rushing way to grottos around Ireland. Moving statues, virgin marys - we're used to them. But Britney's breast?
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Posted by damien at 4:26 PM on January 12, 2004
Thousands of pilgrims make now rushing way to grottos around Ireland. Moving statues, virgin marys - we're used to them. But Britney's breast?
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Clontarf based Science Team Find 'The Clitoris'
Posted by damien at 4:18 PM on December 31, 2003
A team of elite adventurers, maverick scientists and fornicating bloggers have shocked the scientific community today with a breathtaking announcement. "After almost two millennia of fruitless searching" said Professor Jim-Bob Gobstopper, "It would appear that we have done the unthinkable. We can reveal the secret of how to find the clitoris"
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Posted by damien at 4:18 PM on December 31, 2003
A team of elite adventurers, maverick scientists and fornicating bloggers have shocked the scientific community today with a breathtaking announcement. "After almost two millennia of fruitless searching" said Professor Jim-Bob Gobstopper, "It would appear that we have done the unthinkable. We can reveal the secret of how to find the clitoris"
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Christmas with Blather: a cautionary tale
Posted by damien at 6:54 PM on December 16, 2003
Okey doke. I decided I'd save this for a special occasion and seeing as it's christmas and the eve of the new year, well, here goes then?
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Posted by damien at 6:54 PM on December 16, 2003
Okey doke. I decided I'd save this for a special occasion and seeing as it's christmas and the eve of the new year, well, here goes then?
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Skeffington J. D'Arcy January 23rd 1901- November 4th 2003
Posted by daev at 10:44 AM on November 7, 2003
Inventor of the steam-gramaphone, godfather of hippity-hoppity, and first man to conquer Howth Head and Bognor Regis in the same year.
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Posted by daev at 10:44 AM on November 7, 2003
Inventor of the steam-gramaphone, godfather of hippity-hoppity, and first man to conquer Howth Head and Bognor Regis in the same year.
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An Attempt to Take Caravaggio's 'The Taking of Christ'
Posted by daev at 11:56 AM on August 13, 2003
Blather's Dave Walsh attempts to take The Taking of Christ
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Posted by daev at 11:56 AM on August 13, 2003
Blather's Dave Walsh attempts to take The Taking of Christ
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Classic Blather: Ancient Irish Astronauts
Posted by daev at 10:10 AM on July 23, 2003
It was way back in 1999 that the idea was first proposed of turning Dublin 1 into a springboard to the moon...
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Posted by daev at 10:10 AM on July 23, 2003
It was way back in 1999 that the idea was first proposed of turning Dublin 1 into a springboard to the moon...
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An Army of Leprechauns
Posted by damien at 4:46 PM on July 17, 2003
Taken from the 'never to be finished in a millenia of sundays' novel Mysterious Ways...
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Posted by damien at 4:46 PM on July 17, 2003
Taken from the 'never to be finished in a millenia of sundays' novel Mysterious Ways...
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