Shitegeist: Rants
Blather's top tips to beat recession blues the easy way (patent pending)
Posted by blather at 10:25 AM on January 12, 2009
The scene on the steps of the Count O'Blather's house, this morning (Reuters)
It has reached the point (where else does it reach?) here at Blather High Command that the faintest mention of the word 'Ree-Session' has me dusting off my late grandfather's dueling irons. I have taken to pot-shooting the television every time some smirking BBC, RTE or Sky News doomsayer slides the dirty word into some appallingly unrelated news story - like the plight of polar bears in the Arctic or the nocturnal antics of soccer players in one of Ireland's dependencies (e.g. 'England'). My valet has insisted on having the old gogglebox fitted with bulletproof glass to cut down on the expenditure, but my god, the ricochets are now something fierce - I've taken to crouching behind the bathchair in order to avoid the "friendly fire" and sporadic gun-play emanating from the Six-One news. The drawing room is a no-go area, and the frescos are completely ruined. There will be (hell) to pay, and Ann Doyle and Brian Dobson will be receiving strongly worded telegraphs from my private secretary, wherever the little nuisance has go to. I am not above taking aim at any other gleeful naysayer, depressive, pessimist, fearmonger, "I told you so" bore, moaner, begrudger, human sheep, muckraker, spreader of hysteria, economist, fumbler in greasy till or minister for finance that sits crying on my front steps, demanding alms that they can re-invest in some Wall St. pyramid scheme.
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Comments (26)
Posted by blather at 10:25 AM on January 12, 2009
The scene on the steps of the Count O'Blather's house, this morning (Reuters)
It has reached the point (where else does it reach?) here at Blather High Command that the faintest mention of the word 'Ree-Session' has me dusting off my late grandfather's dueling irons. I have taken to pot-shooting the television every time some smirking BBC, RTE or Sky News doomsayer slides the dirty word into some appallingly unrelated news story - like the plight of polar bears in the Arctic or the nocturnal antics of soccer players in one of Ireland's dependencies (e.g. 'England'). My valet has insisted on having the old gogglebox fitted with bulletproof glass to cut down on the expenditure, but my god, the ricochets are now something fierce - I've taken to crouching behind the bathchair in order to avoid the "friendly fire" and sporadic gun-play emanating from the Six-One news. The drawing room is a no-go area, and the frescos are completely ruined. There will be (hell) to pay, and Ann Doyle and Brian Dobson will be receiving strongly worded telegraphs from my private secretary, wherever the little nuisance has go to. I am not above taking aim at any other gleeful naysayer, depressive, pessimist, fearmonger, "I told you so" bore, moaner, begrudger, human sheep, muckraker, spreader of hysteria, economist, fumbler in greasy till or minister for finance that sits crying on my front steps, demanding alms that they can re-invest in some Wall St. pyramid scheme.
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Comments (26)
Select DVD menu...
Posted by damien at 5:30 PM on December 9, 2004
Select DVD menu. Select November 2004. Select play.
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Comments (0)
Posted by damien at 5:30 PM on December 9, 2004
Select DVD menu. Select November 2004. Select play.
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Comments (0)
Wayne Rooney declared stupidest man on Earth
Posted by damien at 10:31 AM on October 6, 2004
‘Thicker than fossilized dino-dung’ says scientist
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Posted by damien at 10:31 AM on October 6, 2004
‘Thicker than fossilized dino-dung’ says scientist
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Nipplegate and Janet Jackson
Posted by damien at 3:26 PM on October 4, 2004
The final word from guest writer Ian Nicoll.
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Posted by damien at 3:26 PM on October 4, 2004
The final word from guest writer Ian Nicoll.
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the birdbath identity
Posted by damien at 3:35 PM on August 25, 2004
haircuts, shadowy government agents and smashing my face in...
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Posted by damien at 3:35 PM on August 25, 2004
haircuts, shadowy government agents and smashing my face in...
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The So-Called Navan Road Riot
Posted by daev at 5:39 PM on May 4, 2004
A few people throwing rocks doesn't make a riot...
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Posted by daev at 5:39 PM on May 4, 2004
A few people throwing rocks doesn't make a riot...
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Gulf War 2: Daddy's crusade
Posted by damien at 12:57 PM on March 24, 2004
Blather productions is proud to announce the DVD release of last years' smash box office hit, Gulf War 2: Daddy's crusade...
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Posted by damien at 12:57 PM on March 24, 2004
Blather productions is proud to announce the DVD release of last years' smash box office hit, Gulf War 2: Daddy's crusade...
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The 3rd World war: this time it's 'cos we can't spell
Posted by damien at 10:40 AM on March 23, 2004
It's the end of the world. No seriously, it is.
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Posted by damien at 10:40 AM on March 23, 2004
It's the end of the world. No seriously, it is.
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Spanish Wanker (wank the first)
Posted by damien at 2:44 PM on December 14, 2003
Seeing as google are trying to censor us, this is my contribution to turning Blather into a seeething cess-pit of filth and depravity...
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Posted by damien at 2:44 PM on December 14, 2003
Seeing as google are trying to censor us, this is my contribution to turning Blather into a seeething cess-pit of filth and depravity...
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The booze. The hangover. The horror.
Posted by damien at 12:20 PM on August 1, 2003
I can't do this no more. I just can't.
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Posted by damien at 12:20 PM on August 1, 2003
I can't do this no more. I just can't.
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