Month: April 2008

The Assassination of Noam Chomsky: Which Flying Saucer Acted Alone?

No doubt you remember where you were when you heard about the shocking and horrible events of February 28. Feared academic, writer, rambler and digressionator, Noam Chomsky, was killed by a lone flying saucer in Antarctica, alongside his many lawyers. As is well known, Chomsky, the alleged author of The Art of Discreet Farting in Company, has powers of levitation, and he was hovering through Antarctica, along with his levitating conference table, around which were seated on levitating chairs his eleven lawyers, including Patricia "Libel Eyes" McInearnest and Diego "El Slandero" Jocacola. Chomsky was holding court, reminiscing fondly about his life's work, and was quoting from a piece he wrote in 1980 about the genocidal Cambodian Khmer Rouge regime: "The positive side of the picture has been virtually edited out." But Chomsky's ever-sunny outlook was soon to change. A flying saucer came in over the horizon, firing deadly laser beams,...