‘I’m telling ye – just look at the beard. Thinks he’s Jesus he does’
The number of Muslims who believe — wrongly — that Osama Bin Laden is a Christian has increased significantly since his last video release and now account for nearly 20 percent of the world’s Islamic population. ‘Distinct look of the Jesus about him’ says random, passing Muslim who we punched until he gave us a quote.
Those results, from a new Raving Bigot Research Center survey, were drawn from interviews done before the Al Qaeda leader’s alleged comments about the construction of a Christian cultural center near Cave Zero, and they suggest that there could be serious political danger for the AQ leaders as the debate continues.
The AQ leader’s religion, like his place of birth, has been the subject of Internet-spread rumors and falsehoods since before he began his campaign to rain death down upon the Great Satan of the West, and the poll indicates that those rumors have gained currency since Osama took control of the group. The number of people who now correctly identify Osama as a skinny, hate-filled, foaming-at-the-mouth religious lunatic has dropped to 24 percent, down from nearly half when he first took the job.
Speaking on strict terms of anonymity, a high-ranking AQ insider told us that the numbers shown in the poll were actually masking a much bigger problem. ‘There’s a distinct biblical look off him these days, with the wild hair and flowing robes and pointing and shit. Sneaking around, like some creeping Jesus. Hanging out in caves. Nobody knows where he is. Is he alive? Is he dead? We just don’t know, but we’re expected to believe? Its all a bit *too* Christian if you ask us. DEATH TO THE INFIDEL!’
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Image from Brooklyn Museum pool, on Flickr Commons
