Cowen's Replacement

Yes, that's right. Brian Cowen has been strangled with piano wire in Brussels and the rulers of Europe have replaced him with a man who knows how to get the "right answer" from a referendum. Robert Mugabe has been appointed the new Taoiseach of Ireland.

Andrea Merkel: "Ireland needs its own fuhrher, ja? A kind of Quisling. Ze Irish pigs must haff zere own Vichy government, to obey, ja ja ja. Zis time ve vill not fail! Seig Heil!"

The Irish will be voting on Lisbon II in the coming week.