Year: 2005

2447 views

What ruined my Christmas Eve? I'll tell you want ruined my Christmas Eve! The thought that the Discovery Channel was about science, discovery and information. It isn't. On Christmas Eve they broadcast a "documentary", A Haunting in Connecticut, which was basically a feature length advertisement for (a) a couple of maverick American demonologists and (b) that ol' org the Catholic Church, in whose bosom you can find refuge against Evil, allegedly. The "haunting" in question involved a troubled family living in a former funeral parlour. Of Course. Spooky! Dead bodies! The apparitions appeared at night when family members were in their beds. Ooooh, maybe the damn things were dreams - is that too sceptical of me? Hmm, there was no one in the documentary to blaspheme against the spirit world, so I might as well! The "demonologists" who ghostbusted the joint were the married couple the Warrens, paranormal investigators and...

2245 views

<Well, folks. 2005 is nearly over. And it's been a great year for Blather.net. We've a whole host of new writers, bloggers and content on our site. Oh, and the traffic is gone through the roof... At the start of 2005, Blather.net was bringing in a steady stream of traffic - as it always has. But now, as we stare at the business end of December, our statcounter figures tell us that traffic has exploded - more than a threefold increase from the figures 12 months ago. So, how do we account for this? Well, it's been a busy year and we've expanded the site hugely. In addition to adding new blogs such as North and the Snackbox Diaries, we've also developed Zeitgeist into an exciting Fortean news source. So much so that Google now list it as a News Service. Speaking of Google, we've also added a new and...

2949 views

Do you spend your days twittering like an inane idiot in online chat clients? Are you having a long-distance relationship with a woman who claims she loves you madly but who you secretly suspect is shagging her way across the European Union? Want a change to your usual online heavy breathing antics? Wanna see your missus mash her big soapy tits into a webcam and jiggle like a bellydancer at 12 frames a second? Then we've got the thing for you: Blatherskyte Industries release BeanFlickr 2.0 (play annoying jingle) : quality webcam smut for the wanking masses. Revolutionizing communications technology, BeanFlickr2.0 (play annoying jingle) will deliver the new-media and communications revolution that the sci-fi movies of the 80’s promised us: high-resolution cybernookie. Or, "e-porking", as insufferably smug industry insiders and impossibly cool, self-hyping blogs call it. Blather.net dispatched its' chief of Incomprehensible New Media Techbabble, Obi-Wan YackHammer, to talk to...

2311 views

Ghosts, UFO's and angry ex-girlfriends. I've dealt with them all. But, nothing could have prepared me for *the thing*. During the course of my so far reasonably interesting life, I've had the shit scared out of me a few times. There was that time on the Isle of Man when myself and a friend were party to a haunting. Then there was the time that had a mexican stand-off with an angry badger. And I worked at the National Museum of Ireland for a few years where I saw shit that would make your hair stand on end. But last night, I reached my threshold of terror. It was about eleven o' clock and after a discussion on the phone with a friend, I decided that I wouldn't mind having a drink. In fact, I said to myself in a moment of fabulous clarity, I fancy a glass of Baileys....

5924 views

Yesterday, we brought you the news that an American man had died whilst shagging a horse. Now, we bring you this exclusive on the scene report from our man in the States, Alex DeJong. Just when I had lost hope of finding some meaningful news, MSNBC brought me some relief from my despair. Despite some embellishments, this is a true story, the sources of which can be checked from the links below. Ahem. Crack that whip Recently, a gentleman from Seattle passed away after being violently sodomized by his equestrian stall-mate. Whether or not this man disagreed with the normal riding method is unclear. However, it seems that there were many individuals of a similar persuasion who, like him, used this particular farm for similar purposes. According to the County Sheriff, people would find this barn of burlesque via chatrooms on the internet. Once behind closed stable doors, these individuals...

3692 views

"It was 36 years ago today" as John Lennon never quite said, when the first manned craft touched down on the surface of the Moon. In light of this, we bring you some classic Blather... "The next notable entry into the Hibernian Space Race was Michael 'The Big Fella' Collins (1890-1922), recently hyper-immortalised by actor Liam Neeson in one of those 'talkie' moving pictures by esteemed local director Neil Jordan. Collins was one of the military blackguards (as opposed to the Black and Tans) behind the events leading to the formation of the Irish Free State in 1921. He subsequently served as Commander-in-Chief of the Irish army. Thanks to the negotiations between Eamon De Valera, Harry Boland and NASA, Michael Collins was the first Irishman in space, remaining in lunar orbit while his Apollo 11 colleagues Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong went walkabout on the moon. Some commentators reckon that...

2360 views

Big movie. Big match. Scousers go mental. Fan boys get all weak at the knees. "What are you talking about? I left at half-time..." It’s been a curious week with curious redemptions. Wednesday last saw Liverpool football club, a rag-tag bag of heroes led by a small Spaniard who bears an uncanny resemblance to Penfold from the Dangermouse cartoons, winning the European Cup. This their fifth time and after having their arses kicked around for the 1st 45 minutes. Not that you need me to tell you this – the entire planet is talking about their heroics in seeing off a clearly superior AC Milan. After 20 years scraping at the ankles of Man Utd, Arsenal and now Chelsea, Liverpool fans can swagger for a while. "What do you mean they won?" But the real story of redemption this week hasn’t been Liverpool football Club. It’s been that of George...

2599 views

Heavy breathers, Jar-Jar haters, force-pedants and grown men running around with plastic, glow-in-the-dark swords. It can only mean one thing: Star Wars is back. In case you have been living on the furthest moon of Jupiter, in a cave, with your fingers in your ears and a Jar Jar doll up your ass, you will of course be aware that benevolent Uncle George is about to give us his sixth and final chapter in the Star Wars saga. On this suspicious occasion we have trawled the net looking for all manner of Star Wars related interweb shenanigans. And by Vader's breath mask, did we find some interesting stuff. Origins First, of all go educate yourself about the origins of the entire Star Wars saga by exploring the two years worth of research that went into creating the Star Wars origins website, which gives a wonderfully detailed examination of the franchises'...

5391 views

Small men. Green pants. Handycams and a pot of 2000 euro. You just can’t make this stuff up... So there I am, sitting staring at an e-mail in my inbox. It would seem that I’m being offered a part in a porn movie, which will pay 2000 euro, for one and a half hour’s ‘work’. Looking closer at the email, I see the company is called ‘Lepreporn’. How did this all come about? Audition Some weeks back I received a call from my agent, telling me I’ve been successful in an audition for a part in a TV film. This was on one condition, that I have a full driving license. The part was too good to pass, so I told them I would have it on time for filming. I haven’t been driving for years, and as I originally learnt in a rusty 25 year old truck, this was...

3822 views

Think you know about music? Do ya? Well, Summer 2005 is going to be wet! We suppose you’ve been hearing that Grime is going to be the lifestyle, music and culture of summer 2005? Forget that. Now. A new music scene has erupted. Drool. Celebrities in the fashionable districts of fashionable cities (London, Oslo, Kilkenny) are beginning to identify themselves with this shocking new trend (see picture!).   Here's an MP3 of some Drool for you to listen to: an excerpt from Droolin' To Tha Wetbeat by DJ Bibs (MP3 629kb). Unfortunately this MP3 won’t give you a full taste of the lower frequencies of this music. But listened to in the right places with the right equipment, you would be simply reduced to a state of drooling. The kids are congregating in clubs to listen and drool together. And it’s for the girls as well as the boys: until...