Month: January 2005


Our research shows that most of the internet consists of Bobby Darin websites. Imagine our surprise when we ventured to find out exactly what the internet consists of, and we discovered that even the millions of porn sites add up to a relatively minor outpost of the net, compared to the amount of Bobby Darin sites. As of yet there is no rational explanation. One theory is that the internet was originally developed so that scientists could share information about Bobby Darin. Upon his death in 1973, Darin's body was donated to the UCLA Medical Center for research purposes. The need for international dialogue between scientists may have gained impetus from this, leading to the development of the internet. However, a spokesman for Bobby Darin has insisted that "scientists have only ever discussed Bobby's singing career" and that his cadaver cannot possibly justify literally billions of websites.


Sent in from our western correspondent' (a.k.a. Sue) There have been many incredible developments in the rain swept west this week. Such excitement! The Wheelie Bins of Change can be heard rumbling through Tuam, as the town embraces the Age of Technology'? The Tuam Herald reports that 15,000 bins have been implanted with 'hi-tech' chips, allowing a satellite to track the weight of its contents. According to Wheelie Environmental Refuse Services (WERS), this will give more control over the cost of refuse disposal. But to whom - the people, or the authorities? Right, at the danger of falling prey to insane conspiracy theories - is Galway County Council now spying on the waste habits of Tuamanians? Will the fair inhabitants of Tuam be next for implanting of these 'hi-tech' chips? How much easier it will be to keep Tuam clean when everyone can be programmed to do so! On a...