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Lepreporn – Where Dreams Are Made

leprechaun smaller.jpgSmall men. Green pants. Handycams and a pot of 2000 euro. You just can’t make this stuff up…


So there I am, sitting staring at an e-mail in my inbox. It would seem that I’m being offered a part in a porn movie, which will pay 2000 euro, for one and a half hour’s ‘work’. Looking closer at the email, I see the company is called ‘Lepreporn’.
How did this all come about?

Audition
Some weeks back I received a call from my agent, telling me I’ve been successful in an audition for a part in a TV film. This was on one condition, that I have a full driving license. The part was too good to pass, so I told them I would have it on time for filming. I haven’t been driving for years, and as I originally learnt in a rusty 25 year old truck, this was going to take some work.
I only have two months to undertake this challenge. I realise that this is going to be a costly exercise as lessons will be expensive. I need some money, and I need it fast. I start looking for extra work, but don’t have much luck.

Spell
Wondering what to do next, it occurs to me to try a money drawing spell. I haven’t been doing any magick for a long time, so I knock out a simple spell, almost carelessly. I ask for a specific amount, thinking I could sort out another few things I need at the same time.
On a visit to Dublin two days later, I call around to see a friend. While checking my emails on my computer, I see I’ve an email from net-model.com. This is website for models/actresses where you can display some photos and information, and then be contacted by interested photographers. The site seems reputable, but I’m not sure that everyone who uses it is.
The email was from a company called ‘Lepreporn’ offering me the exact amount I had asked for in my spell… They were offering me 2000 euros for a three day shoot, ‘working’ for a half an hour a day. I looked at their profile on the model site, and their blurb said:
‘We are the only Irish adult film company which film R18 movies, we only employ Irish actors. We have been making movies for about 2 years now and are becoming major players in the adult industry so if you want to make good money and have lots of fun, email us your details.’

Vaseline
‘We only use Irish actors’. Is that supposed to be encouraging? The last thing you would want, when making a porn movie, is to ‘bump’ into someone you know. “Oh, how yea Pat, are you working on this thing too? Oh great, great, it’s nice to know someone else. I’ll see you during the shoot then. ”
Not to mention the chances of good old Irish porn being watched by someone who knows you. Unless they are stating the fact that they are supporting only Irish workers, with no emigrants taking Irish jobs here.
When I did a search on Google for them, I came up with nothing. All I found was a page on windycitymedia.com which has David J. Madziarz pondering on the lack of leprechaun porn on the web. He says:
‘The wee little ones must have given up sex for Lent because in spite of numerous Google searches, I couldn’t find any leprechaun porn sites on the Internet. If it did exist, would it be called “lepreporn?”

Decline
Mr. Madziarz is quite right to feel disappointed at the lack of leprechaun porn, but I doubt Lepreporn are going to fill the gap in the market. Unless of course this is Mr. Madziarz’s company… in which case there will be some interesting costumes for the ‘actors’ to wear in the films.
I am afraid I will have to disappoint (or not) a few readers by saying I declined the offer, if I ever feel the urge to make a porn film it will be as far away as possible, ( Mars perhaps). I felt the Universe/whatever was having a right old laugh at my spell messing. Next time I’m getting it right. No half measures.
Oh and I did get my money in the end. Just not that way…

More:
Lepreporn – the Globaleyes review
Lepreporn – the adventure continues on the Snackbox diaries

suzanne
Sue Walsh was partly brought up by cats in her native Wexford, where along with her brother, she scoured the river for junk. At the age of three her mother caught her carrying kittens in her mouth. She lived in the woods for a while, then the lure of the stage was too much, and she ran away with a theatre company. This enabled her to keep her multiple personalities happy, and so she is continuing to act whenever the opportunity arises. When not on stage or the silver screen, Sue can be found scribbling away and conducting séances. She is still scouring the river, hoping to find treasure in amongst the junk, just like Suzanne in the song...

37 comments

  1. so. did they get back to you? has anyone else seen or heard of lepreporn? a google search shows nothing…

  2. Hi, I’m currently working on an article for the Sunday Tribune about the porn industry in Ireland. Information is thin on the ground, and I’d love to get in contact with Lepreporn. Don’t suppose you still have their email address or any other contact details?
    It would really help me out.
    Kind regards,
    Sarah McInerney

  6. Thank you all for youre comments, But you cant be searching very hard, try looking for,Fucked in Ireland 1,2,3,4

  10. I’m a nice guy, 36 years old. I would be interseted to take part in an adult movie in Nigerian. If you have some informations

  13. hi im yasmin to any one out ther who would like to shoot irish porn it is not as easy as it looks its very hard wrk and very nevers and tireing..and shooting a scen can be unreal cameras in ur face all the time cuting and starting a scen maken sure its perfected..its not cut out to be the easyist job in the world..yasmin from fuckd in ireland..

  14. hey, read your comment yasmin also saw your profile on bgafd.co.uk very nice. Can you give me anymore info on getting into the porn industry in Ireland? who do you contact?

  17. i would like to find out
    where do you go…if you really what to be porn actor if you in south africa an you male?

  21. Whatever little Irish porn may exist, it certainly ain’t a damn industry.
    More like a rough looking chap selling VHS tapes out of his van in Clara, as opposed to an “industry”.

  22. hey ma people,i just want 2 know whr can i go if i want 2 take part in a porn movie.i live in south africa and i want 2 know if there are some porn studio here becwould love 2 star in one of them.i’m a black male who is 22 years old.anyone who can help me please reply

  23. hey ma people,i just want 2 know whr can i go if i want 2 take part in a porn movie.i live in durban, south africa and i want 2 know if there are some porn studio here cos i would love 2 star in one of them.i’m a indian male who is 40 years old.anyone who can help me please reply

  24. Hello,
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    We are always on the look out for new and exciting talent,
    Please send full legnth pictures in an aroused state to the address below,
    Thanks,
    James

  26. hey ma people,i just want 2 know whr can i go if i want 2 take part in a porn movie.i live in accra in ghana and i want 2 know if there are some porn studio here cos i would love 2 star in one of them..anyone who can help me please reply at romeo_emmanuel@yahoo.com

  27. i want to take part in any of the porn movie coming up any time here in lagos nigeria …please get back to me via my email add above or my phone number 08062704302
    i will be looking forward to hearing from you guys soon

  28. i am a guy of 21 years who want to become a porn star i am from Ghana and that my dream i need help please

  30. I would like to act or get an agent in the porn industry. I live in South Africa and i dont have any demos( i
    can get one if there is a chick who is interested in making a demo wit me.

  33. i will like to be a pron star ,but i don’t know how to do that.that i writing this letter to tell me how and where.please help me to act in a movie and how to make money with it

  35. WOW, ITS AMAZING TO SEE SO MANY PEOPLE TRYING TO GET A BREAK INTO THE ADULD WORLD, IM 19, MALE, AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY WEIRD GUY IN SOUTH AFRICA SO GUYS I ALSO WANA JOIN THE BUSINESS, EMAIL ME FOR ANY INFO LILIAN@YAHOO.COM

  36. hey ma people,i just want 2 know war can i go if i want 2 take part in a porn movie.i live in Africa and i want 2 know if there are some porn studio here becwould love 2 star in one of them.I’m a black male who is 22 years old.anyone who can help me please repel mail ugoemma11@uahoo.com

  37. l’m 29Male from Nigeria,am based in port harcourt city of Rivers State.am 100% good in bed and l love hotsex so much.l’ll love to be a porn star,if any please contact me: 08036289051, 07036541798.thanks. Chimorny

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