PopeIdol Day 4: Can Bono finally find what he’s been looking for?

YO! Ok. So he didn’t get the World Bank job and he hasn’t managed to get those debts relieved. He’s climbed the highest mountain and walked through the sea. So, now, how about a shot at the Papacy?

Well, let’s take a look at his C.V., shall we? Grand. Lead singer of the ‘biggest band on the planet’. Tireless campaigner for third-world debt relief. Pain in George Bush’s ass. Natty choice in clothes. All round decent bloke.
But to help you decide, we put together this list of the top five reasons why it would be unspeakably cool if Bono was the Pope.
1. He can actually sing and would bring a touch of class to those dull Latin hymns. Throw in a snarling guitar lick, sampled Russian rifle discharge for a drum track, and Monkhouse is yer uncle.
2. He’d be the first Pope in a millenium who would actually have a clue what was going on in the outside world.
3. He’s a foul-mouthed Irishman (in the best sense of those words) which would bring a novel quality to discussions with other church leaders. “Foooking aaaaaay man!”
4. He’d be wearing shades while he said mass. Nuff said.
5. He’s done more for people in poverty in sub-Saharan Africa than 25 years of posturing, whining and fearmongering by the current Vatican administration ever has.
So. Have you other suggestions? Reasons why Bono should be Pope? Suggestions in a comment please…
(Artwork by Visionary)

The disembodied collective editorial voice of the only really nice website in Ireland.


  1. Bonio is not a Catholic. We need to be able to keep saying “Is the Pope a Catholic?” instead of “Yes.”

  2. “We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness”
    Thus sprache a repentant Prince Charles (or he will do in any case when he marries the horse)
    Such grace and humility, don’t you agree? Perfect Papal material if you ask me….

  3. Hmm he has a Latin Name Bono Vox, and he is half Catholic at least….go Bono…also his own clothing range now….could work…

  4. he’d make you want to go to mass, why cant he be pope. . . . why havent any celebs been pope?????

  5. DOUGAL I’ve never met a celebrity before.
    FR.TED: You met the Pope.
    DOUGAL Did I?
    FR.TED: Don’t you remember when we were in Rome?
    DOUGAL: That was the Pope? That fella living in the Art Gallery.
    FR.TED:The Vatican Dougal. That was the Vatican.
    DOUGAL All the same I wouldn’t say he’s a celebrity like in the true sense of the word you know.
    FR.TED: The Pope is God’s representative on Earth.
    DOUGAL: You think he’d be taller!

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