Tim Westwood Horrified To Discover He’s Actually White

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(image by Eric Hamilton.)
Unconfirmed rumours came across the Blather desk this morning that bad-boy BBC Radio DJ Tim Westwood may have realised that he’s actually white. All-round Blingmaster and Blather.net Correspondent Filthy Hack reports.

Hack says: ‘The alleged incident is reported to have occured in a late-night Soho club, just off Dean St. Eyewitnesses state that Westwood was ‘avin’ it large’ in the (name withheld for legal reasons – ed.) club with several friends and assorted media students when Westwood’s account of how he ‘iz de man’ and furthermore how he was ‘bare cool, word to yo sista’ was interrupted by a nearby native of Brixton, who puzzled by Westwood’s behaviour is reported to have said ‘Chief, you’re whiter than flock of fuckin’ sheep in a snowstorm’ and that furthermore Westwood was ‘nothing more than the modern equivalent of Smashie and Nicey’. Finally the man added that the DJ should strongly consider ‘shuttin’ the fuck up’ before someone actually did ‘bust a cap’ in his ‘skinny white ass’.
More as we get it.
Westwoood in action

Who is Tim Westwood? Why, ask the Urban Dictionary of course.



  1. The most amazing thing is that this goon has been ‘Doin it BIG’ since the mid-80s…he opened for Run DMC in the Brixton Academy in ’86!!!?
    Why haven’t people realised that he is a TOTAL TOSSER?

  2. He would still sound like a c*unt even if he was black.
    If I remember rightly someone did ‘pop a cap in his ass’ whist he was c*nting it up in his range rover about ten years ago, for precisely this reason I imagine.

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