Healthcare Reform To Pass As Obama Bores Republicans Into Submission

(President Obama addressing Congress yesterday)
House Republicans, at their collective wits end after another nine-hour Healthcare borefest in the senate, finally cracked and in a heated floor exchange stated that they were considering mass-suicide and asked the President to ‘just give us the God-damned thing so we can sign it’.

As previously reported, Republican nerves have been shredding this last week, with GOPers tabling a bill urging the President to ‘get to the fucking point‘. And, it would seem, their patience has finally worn thin.
Democrats were said to be elated after the ‘landmark’ breakthrough and hailed President Obama’s strategy of boring the opposition into cracking. ‘It was a long haul’ said one Democratic insider who spoke on condition of anonymity, ‘but it’s been hugely successful in the end.’
‘The President set out a clear plan’ he said, ‘simply talk and talk and talk about healthcare until even the most crazed, foaming-at-the-mouth Birther would be wiling to sign up to the reforms rather than listen to another tedious session on the issue. We determined that the most potent strategy for success was to fill the airwaves 24/7 with talk, opinion and editorials on healthcare and just go on about it until Republicans eventually lost the will to live and begged us to let them sign it. This is a great day for American democracy’.
With healthcare reform now finally passed, the White House was keen to quickly seize the momentum and move on to a bill on Green technology and job creation: ‘The President is now planning a live, televised event where he’ll slowly, agonisingly read the entire 400-page bill to Republicans whilst they’re strapped to gurnies with ball-gags in their mouths.’
The Republican Party And The Obama Conspiracy Theories
From the Library of Congress commons stream

The disembodied collective editorial voice of the only really nice website in Ireland.