George Bush Plans Invasion of Ireland

The country’s number one chieftain limbers up to single-handedly repel the infidel…

Plans of a secret US attack on Ireland have been announced. This summer, an airborne invasion led by US war hero George Dubya Bush will strike at the very kidneys of the Irish countryside – Shannon Airport.
As Aircraft carriers clog-up the Shannon estuary and Apache helicopters haunt the streets of Limerick, Chieftain Bertie humourless will be having his sword sharpened, and his armour polished. Clad in animals skins, his long flowing hair tied behind him, handsome Bertie will sit astride his horse ‘Enda’ and lead the brave men of Fianna Fail in a charge across the country to see off the American barbarians.
This is, of course, bollocks. Sure won’t wee Bertie be over beyond in the Shite House for Paddy’s Day?
Our brave Taoiseach today announced that Dubya himself will be visiting Ireland on June 25th and 26th, and urged the Plain People of Ireland NOT to protest against Monkey Boy’s visit. Bertie says that the visit will be an honour (I dare say) for the Irish people, and an opportunity to push European views on him, on a range of matters. Bush will be en route to a NATO summit in Brussels, and Bertie wants to seize the moment, and get Europe and the US all lovey-dovey again, following the nastiness over some war in some dusty Asian nation.
Quoted in The Irish Times, Green Party foreign affairs spokesman, Mr John Gormley said that Mr Bush was “one of the most detested US presidents in history”, and that “he and the other crazies that have taken over the White House must not be left in doubt that their neo-conservative doctrine is not acceptable to most Irish people and Europeans.”.
You said, it John. I couldn’t have put it better myself.
Richard Boyd Barrett, of the Irish Anti-War Movement, was also quoted, and said it was “absolutely certain” that protests would be organised.
The funny thing is, Bertie’s attempt to curb any attempt at domestic disturbance has actually incensed people. In Ireland, we don’t like being told what to do. And like kids, you tell us not to do something, and then we’ll go and do it anyway. Just to see what the fuss was about. WP calls for massive protests against Bush when he visits Ireland »
Labour Party upholds right of people to demonstrate during Bush visit, says Michael D. Higgins »
Bush to visit Ireland in June for summit »
The Irish Times: No anti-Bush visit protests, urges Taoiseach »
Update 28th February
Some posters on reckon that it’s all a double-bluff by Bertie. He doesn’t want Dubya to come here, but has no choice. So by telling us not to protest, he knows he’s going to elicit chaos. Doubtful though. Is Bertie that clever, or interesting?
More »

Chief Bottle Washer at Blather
Writer, photographer, environmental campaigner and "known troublemaker" Dave Walsh is the founder of, described both as "possibly the most arrogant and depraved website to be found either side of the majestic Shannon River", and "the nicest website circulating in Ireland". Half Irishman, half-bicycle. He lives in southern Irish city of Barcelona.