Palin, Rand Paul Demand Obama Use His Superpowers To Stop BP Oil Leak

(President Obama, yesterday. Image by Stan, used under a CC licence)
Furious at the perceived lack of action on the part of the President and his White House administration, Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska called for the President to ‘get his tights on, fly down there and swallow the leak up’ before the damage becomes too much to repair.

“The fundamental problem at the core of this crisis is a lack of responsibility,” she wrote in a Facebook note. “There’s a culture of buck-passing at the heart of this administration that has caused the tragedy of a sunken oil rig to turn into a potential disaster. Is the President aware of what’s happening down there?” she asked. “How long before he flies down there and sorts this unholy mess out?”
Rand Paul also added: “I tell you now, were it me in that White House, I’d have flown down there weeks ago, circled the disaster site dramatically for ten minutes in front of TV cameras before plunging heroically through the surface of the water to consume the leak with a mighty sucking motion and pissed the oil back into waiting commuters SUVs in downtown LA. That’s the American Way” he thundered.

Damien DeBarra was born in the late 20th century and grew up in Dublin, Ireland. He now lives in London, England where he shares a house with four laptops, three bikes and a large collection of chairs.