Just when I had lost hope of finding some meaningful news, MSNBC brought me some relief from my despair. Despite some embellishments, this is a true story, the sources of which can be checked from the links below. Ahem.
Crack that whip
Recently, a gentleman from Seattle passed away after being violently sodomized by his equestrian stall-mate. Whether or not this man disagreed with the normal riding method is unclear. However, it seems that there were many individuals of a similar persuasion who, like him, used this particular farm for similar purposes. According to the County Sheriff, people would find this barn of burlesque via chatrooms on the internet. Once behind closed stable doors, these individuals would have their pick of the stock: whether it be feathered, woolen, or bare.
Family and friends of the deceased individual were shocked to hear the disturbing and unfortunate news. They also said that they were ‘surprised’ when they learned he had purchased a Thoroughbred stallion earlier this year. Local neighbours of the farm commented that they had often noticed odd advertisements showing winking sheep, sashaying swine, and can-caning cows posted by the owner on local bulletin baords and community notices.
Thankfully, the horse, known as ‘Bullseye’, was unharmed by the incident and is not being prosecuted for charges of manslaughter made by the man’s family. Reporters are still waiting to hear from professional animal psychiatrists who have been having difficulty extracting information from the victims. This lack of communication has been exacerbated by a kamikaze barnyard cat that has been unleashing very painful raids on all transgressing bipeds.
Crap generic, horse-related joke
Currently, having sex with animals is legal in the state of Washington. That said, investigators are currently debating the legality of committing such foul play with smaller animals such as sheep, goats or ducks on the premise of ‘inhumane cruelty’, which fortunately, is a criminal offense. Local officials are continuing to investigate and confiscate other barns that commit similar offenses under the new APYLS (Anti Pimp Your Live Stock) act, which was endorsed by Mr. Ed and Old MacDonald.
+Find out more+
From MSNBC .
Zoo (movie about the incident)