Blatherskyte Industries release ‘BeanFlickr2.0’: Quality Wankcasting For Free.

Do you spend your days twittering like an inane idiot in online chat clients? Are you having a long-distance relationship with a woman who claims she loves you madly but who you secretly suspect is shagging her way across the European Union? Want a change to your usual online heavy breathing antics? Wanna see your missus mash her big soapy tits into a webcam and jiggle like a bellydancer at 12 frames a second? Then we’ve got the thing for you: Blatherskyte Industries release BeanFlickr 2.0 (play annoying jingle) : quality webcam smut for the wanking masses.

Revolutionizing communications technology, BeanFlickr2.0 (play annoying jingle) will deliver the new-media and communications revolution that the sci-fi movies of the 80’s promised us: high-resolution cybernookie. Or, “e-porking”, as insufferably smug industry insiders and impossibly cool, self-hyping blogs call it. dispatched its’ chief of Incomprehensible New Media Techbabble, Obi-Wan YackHammer, to talk to Trinity ‘Samwise’ Doran; the 36 year old, Belfast-born CEO of Blatherskyte Industries.
Blather: So what can we expect from Beanflickr 2.0 (play annoying jingle)? What’s the killer upgrade?
Samwise: Well, essentially this software provides high-quality, video-phone for nothing more than the cost of the broadband connection that you’re already paying for. It’s a suite of applications that let’s you send e-mail, texts, phone calls, images, enables mp3 sharing, video streaming of hardcore French-midget porno, smoke signals, GPS navigation, global satellite tracking, full gaming console, DVD-quality Russian milf action, Big Ben, the Big Bang and the Beatles all rolled into one orgasmic interface. It’s Bob Fuckin Holness.
Blather: And the porn?
Samwise: Man. The porn. Well, look, the latest I can tell you is that, in less than the 48 hours since we launched the Beanflickr2.0 (play annoying jingle) package on to the web – for free – various inhuman subcultures have already sprung up, “e-volved” (waggles fingers in air) if you will, and been classified by random wikipedias from Sydney to New York.
Blather: Tell us more.
Samwise: Well, you have the doggers. You know, they watch each other shagging and so on. Then there’s the rimmers (sighs whilst counting off on his fingers), the bukake queens, slug-gobblers, horse fetishists, fish fuckers, furry felchers, nappy sniffers, spandex spankers, squirrel wankers, fags, hags, Republicans and Scientologists.
Blather: A perverts paradise no less?
Samwise: You got it chief. It’s the end of Civilisation. Six weeks from now? It’s gonna be raining shit.
Skype (play annoying jingle) launch version 2.0
Image from World Gurning champion
The Guardian: Skype, with added video



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