BlatherLabs Presents: The Interested Bear

interested_bear.jpg Are you chronically dull? Do you require constant attention? Do you find yourself seeking endless validation on discussion forums? If so, then you need ‘The Interested Bear’! Brought to you by special blather correspondent, Moon.


Yes, the all-new Interested Bear will appear to show interest in any and every thing you say, no matter how boring it is, or how many times you’ve said it before. The Interested Bear has been pre-programmed with a repertoire of meaningless cliches designed to show he is paying attention, however scant, to whatever it is you’re saying. Cute cues, such as “Is that so?” “How odd” and “Really?!”, aid you to keep rambling on ad nauseam without being interrupted by the unwelcome opinion or discourse of another person. Best of all, the Interested Bear’s eyes have been glued wide open, and his head set in a permanent “nodding” position. Never again, readers dear, will you have to hear the snores of an uncooperative talkee.
The Interested Bear Cares.
Recent tests carried out at BlatherLabs have shown just how versatile and enduring the Interested Bear is. Take this recent test, where we paired our Interested Bear with the single, dullest discussion forum poster we could find:
poster: so then i said, this is my internet discussion forum and i’ll cry if i want to, and then he said…
bear: uh huh?
poster: …’shut it you fat moaning cunt’. and then he said something else, which was very important…
bear: ya ha?
poster: which i can’t recall right now cos i wasn’t listening…
bear: really?
poster: yep. and then my boss came in and and and…
bear: (slipping a noose around his neck) go on…
poster: he said something too, but i can’t remember it, because i wasn’t listening to him either…
bear: (standing on a cardboard box) fascinating. do go on…
The Interested Bear. Yours for €2000 at the blather shop.

ender

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