(DUBLIN) The entire population of the Republic of Ireland are due to gather on Dollymount Strand, Clontarf this coming weekend to join in the world’s largest instance of impotent fist-shaking at a neighbouring nuclear polluter. ‘We’re gonna tell them British bastards what’s feckin’ what so we feckin are’ said a random drunk who crawled out from under a nearby rock.
Campaign manager Gubnait O’Toss says that the demonstration will send a powerful message to British Prime Minister Tony Blair and British Nuclear Fuels (BNFL) that the Irish people are serious about the issues of nuclear waste disposal in the Irish Sea and that they are prepared to take serious measures to make their case heard.
Irish Government ministers were quick to lend support to the campaign, with Minister for the Environment, Dodgy Roach, claiming that the Irish Government has been pursuing a ‘vigorous campaign’ against the nefarious Albionites and their radioactive goo-dumping. ‘No more’ fumed Roach, ‘will the Irish sea be the cess-pool where England dumps it’s radioactive gysm. For too long the island of Ireland have been the continental wank-rag of the British Empire’.
Government spokesmen, speaking under terms of strict anonymity, indicated that the government is willing to consider further radical action to make itself and the Irish people heard. Amongst some of the more startling suggestions mooted are a mass staring session, formation frowning, synchronised county-by-county grumbling and a nation-wide simultaneous foot-stamping.
Irish Government to attempt to close Sellafield (Jan 2006)
Roche: UK nuclear shipments will not enter Irish waters (Nov 2006)
+Credit where credit is due+
Inspired by a joke by Spanky on the p45 forums