Month: September 2007

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An odd week here in the London branch of Blather Towers. As well as changing locations (from the leafy suburbs of Muswell Hill to the altogether more interesting and noisy Turnpike Lane) we're also going back to college. To play games. No, seriously. Anyhoosa, inbetween unpacking boxes, bouts of fending off the largest dog in London (long story) and getting lost on the tube, we found time to indulge ourselves in one of our favourite hobbies: howling laughing at Irish politics. Irish Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Bertie 'Bundles' Ahern has been having a rough week. He's had his arse dragged into the Mahon Tribunal to explain himself over a series of increasingly Haughey-like stories about financial transactions which the tribunal is rather interested in and which, it would seem, Bertie Ahern maintains are none of our feckin' business. As if that weren't bad enough, earlier in the week his ex landed...

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Portugese police stepped up their investigations into the disappearance of Maddie McCann this morning, in particular their continued focus on Kate McCann, by officially declaring her a 'haguido', requesting permission to search her body for superflous nipples, signs of fornication with the great beast and finally to have her burnt at the stake for being blatantly more intelligent than the half-witted, strategically-shaved primates that are supposed to be leading the search for her missing child. Blather dispatched its finest man, (fives-times blogger of year runner-up) the redoubtable Filthy Hack, to the resort of Praia da Luz in Portugal this morning, to speak to Chief Commisioner Luiz Felipe Incompotentio . 'Clearly, it is obvious to us at this point,' he stated 'that having exhausted all avenues of investigation in this case, that the only logical explanation for Maddie's disappearance, is to make a wild stab in the dark and insist, in...

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Have you vague feelings that you are searching for something inexpressible? At last at Blather we have discovered what you should be doing with yourself. You need to fly a building. Here is our how-to guide. Step 1: Find a building. You need to go where buildings can be found. A journey through the heated desert wastes, or the cold snowy wastes, are a waste of time. Also avoid those excessive stretches of lush countryside. Buildings can be found in great abundance in towns and cities, so that's where you should go. Step 2. Gain entry to the building. Buildings are often surrounded by fences. Obtain a pair of wire-clippers to create a hole big enough for you to get through. Once ensconced in the grounds, wait until a door or a window is opened. Be careful to avoid people who use the building, especially armed security guards. Starting a...