Month: October 2007

746 views

Yesterday, the lion's share of British media outlets ran with the story that a recent poll, conducted to figure out who was Britain's greatest wit, placed the writer Oscar Wilde at the top of a list of ten auspicious names. And indeed he was a funny chap. There's a slight issue though: Oscar Wilde was not British. Oscar Wilde was (drumroll) Irish. But no matter; let's not get hung up on semantics. In the interest of furthering Anglo-Irish relations, and generally educating the great unwashed, Blather.net now humbly submits its list of Ireland's greatest wits for your perusal and comment. Now, before we begin, we understand that there may be some confusion surrounding precisely what 'Ireland' is. So, in order to help our geographically-challenged cousins in the UK, we've decided to place this helpful map here to provide some simple pointers. You ready? Good. Take a look (don't rush yourself...

530 views

Dramatic new evidence of the dangers of rogue jihadi animals emerged today as government scientists warned that a most harmful "stink" is flooding our streets. Crack Al Qaeda skunks have been caught on CCTV pissing, shitting and spraying London water services in an attempt to foul up the city's drinking grog. 'London water is a globally-recognised brand - known for it's purity, cheap costs and chemical benevolence' guffawed a Thames Effluence spokesman through barely controlled sniggers. An un-named source at the Ministry of Baseless Scaremongering said that a lethal 'Al Qaeda skunk' (acting on orders from Osama Bin Laden's cat) was responsible for flooding large parts of the Whitechapel area, after meddling with an unknown number of sewerage facilities and getting several members of the Thames Barrier maintenance crew monged on Grade A grass. Random 'facts', plucked from the air like farts from the fog, were bandied about by government...