Healthcare: Republicans Demand Obama Pats Head And Rubs Stomach Whilst Burping State Of The Union

House Republicans putting proposals to President Obama yesterday
In a dramatic move, house Republicans demanded that in order to agree to talk about healthcare reform again, President Obama would have to deliver his next State of the Union hopping on one foot whilst rubbing his tummy and patting his head. Furthermore the President would be required to belch his way through the ninety minute speech; aided by Vice-President Joe Biden and a keg of Heineken.

Furious across-the-floor negotiations began with Dems demanding that the motion be withdrawn; Republicans seemed wiling to move on the brand of beer but insisted that the President would not be allowed to smoke, due to fire and safety regulations.
However Republicans were quick to rubbish suggestions that they had only brought the motion before the house after deciding not to pursue another much harsher proposal: that Obama should perform backflips down Pennsylvania Avenue whilst barking like a seal.
(image from Library of Congress commons on Flickr)
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