Irish Government Employs 2,000 ‘Pleasure Detectors’ To Enforce Dogging Tax

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[DUBLIN] Outcry as ‘Dogging tax’ to enforce new government guidelines about illegal ‘pleasure’ in back of Irish vehicles is announced.


OUTRAGE ETC.
In the wake of the today’s controversial announcement by Environment Minister John Gormley that ‘all drivers of commercial 4X4s and small vans must legally declare that they will not use them for any social, domestic or pleasure purposes’, there now comes a welcome good news story for the embattled government.
The Minister also announced the creation of a new government agency, made up of 2,000 staff whose remit is to detect any illegal instances of ‘pleasure’ taking place in the back of Irish road vehicles.
Quickly nick-named ‘dogging tax’ by would-be interweb funny men, the new agency’s name is as yet undisclosed, but rumours suggest that it may be called G.R.O.P.E. A government lackey, speaking on strict terms of anonymity said ‘this class of thing has been going on far too long and it’s high time we did something about it’.
Clontarf-based dogging collective ‘SumLikeItRuff.ie’ released a short statement expressing their outrage at the news, claiming that the new taxes represented ‘a violation of their human rights, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Anto got gang-fisted by those German goths’.
In another as yet unconfirmed rumour, claims are abounding on twitter.com that the Government might be considering hiring former priests for the roles, specifically for patrolling the area down on Dollymount Strand, due to their centuries of experience in the field.
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1 comment

  1. That’s VERY innovative! I think they should institute a 2nd 4,000 person Agency whose mission will be to keep an eye on any ILLEGAL PLEASURE derived by pleasure detectors while detecting ANY illegal pleasure…CAll it: VDPD(The Vigilance Department of Pleasure Detectors….Later another LARGER agency can be added to police the VDPD: The STD…SUPER TITILATION DETECTORS…and so on and so forth.

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