Singer Changes Costume Thirty Times In Effort To Hide Fact Her Music Is Complete Shit

(photo by Bayer NYC, used under a Creative Commons license)
A prominent techno-diva with a penchant for dressing-up like a mentally ill chimp that’s been kicked through the BBC costume department, changed outfit in excess of thirty times during a live concert last night, in order to divert attention away from the fact that her music is bland, anodyne, sub-Britney knobcheese.

Lady Gagbag (nee Luralee Hicks) worked her way through a dizzying array of costume and jewellery changes during a ninety-minute set at the Painfully Cool New York Music Event That You Weren’t At last night, showcasing costumes which onlookers described as ranging from ‘witty and provocative’ to ‘full-blown cheap, nasty skank’.
Starting out with a crystal-encrusted thong and bra ensemble, Gagbag swiftly changed into a crotchless F-16 pilot’s fatigues only to appear five minutes later in a late nineteenth century deep-sea diving suit with blinged-out locking clasps.
A couple of songs later and she’d made her way through a Lithuanian police officer’s uniform, a shit-streaked adult nappy and a remarkable get-up which saw Gagbag parading around dressed as a drunken, caber-tossing Scotsman complete with kilt, sporran and novelty ginger wig whilst she stomped her way through a new, ten-minute experimental bleep-fest named ‘Och Aye The Noo‘.
Fans seemed to lap it up: ‘Oh she was brilliant!’ said Katy Vacant, a 20-year-old Brooklyn actress, ‘the costumes were just incredible. It completely distracted me and my empty-headed twat friends from the fact that her music was a pile of unbearable arse’.

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