Bleddy beasties and mad hoors

Nessie back in the news… [sigh]…


Dammit, Nessie is back, and so is yer man, that white witch wrestler geezer, Kevin Carlyon. He must be on his holidays. He reckons that the spell he cast in 2001 – to stop Blather’s biggest fan, Jan Ove Sundberg, from snaring the beastie – was too strong, and has dramatically cut down on the number of Nessie site sightings. As if.

BBC: White witch to tempt Nessie

A white witch has travelled to Scotland to try to lure its most famous monster out into the open. Kevin Carlyon, high priest of the British Coven of White Witches, will cast a spell during a ritual on the shores of Loch Ness on Friday.

He wants to invoke Nessie to appear again, claiming there have been few sightings since he cast a spell to protect her.

Mr Carlyon, from Hastings, East Sussex, made the “blocking spell” in April 2001 in an attempt to thwart Swedish scientist Jan Sundberg’s plans to trap the elusive creature.

We remember this geezer. We even mentioned him, in the Blather article Savage Controversies:

April 2001: I accidently caught a few TV news snippets of Jan’s fun-and-games at Loch Ness… one on ITV, one on TV3, one on RTE. Two of the pieces showed a ‘confrontation’ between Jan and that white witch bloke Kevin Carlyon. Curiously, one TV channel showed the confrontation with the camera view from behind Carlyon, the second with the view from behind Sundberg. However, in each case, you couldn’t see the other camera, and the dialogue seemed slightly different. Were Sundberg and Carlyon staging confrontations? Maybe.

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Maybe all of this will descend into even more farce. Stay tuned, kids.

June 13:

The Inverness Courier: Record day for Nessie sightings

LAST Sunday proved a good day for monster spotting with no less than three sightings in eight hours ? as many as recorded in the whole of 2002.

Two of the sightings were from the cruise boat Royal Scot and the third was claimed by a fisherman at around 10pm. All were reported in the Fort Augustus area.

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Posted to the parallel thread on p45rant.com:

‘People’ tend to have a very poor idea of the size and behaviour of animals such as seals and otters. Many people thing otters are quite small – like ferrets or stoats… wheras in fact, they can be up to 1m long in this islands.

Likewise, seals ARE BLOODY BIG. Up to 3m long in fact.

A few months ago… remember the cluster of suicides on the Slaney in Enniscorthy? My brother and father spent a lot time on the river, helping searching for the bodies.

One day, my brother was rowing towards home… and as you can imagine, his mind was on the possible horrors he may have come across… and as I said he was [i]rowing[i/]… so the water was still, not much noise, except the oards in the water, and the squeek of the spurs.

Suddenly a dark face popped up out of the water beside him, looking right at him. I reckon Mick nearly fouled himself.

It was a grey seal, and it just wanted to hang out… stayed with the boat all the way home, in a friendly kind of way.

daev
Chief Bottle Washer at Blather

Writer, photographer, environmental campaigner and “known troublemaker” Dave Walsh is the founder of Blather.net, described both as “possibly the most arrogant and depraved website to be found either side of the majestic Shannon River”, and “the nicest website circulating in Ireland”. Half Irishman, half-bicycle. He lives in southern Irish city of Barcelona.