No more semi-loitering for tourists
A group of traders in the Grafton St./Nassau St. area of Dublin have called for a minimum speed to be introduced. The group estimates that more than €100 million is being lost annually due to ‘slow walking’.
‘It get especially bad in June’, said a spokesman, owner of a business on Nassau St. ‘ People can’t out to buy lunch, or to meetings. Once the tourists arrive, no one can get up or down the street, it all grinds to a halt. These people may walk like this in their own country, but they should be informed that the people of Dublin are not on their holidays.’
The group has also called on Dublin City Council to introduce a network of ‘speed cameras’ for pedestrians at busy junctions such as the bottom of Dawson St. They suggest that the Mandatory fines would be imposed in order to decrease the amount of ‘semi-loitering’ which is alledgedly taking place.
[Note added 4/11/03: This piece was written as satire… but it got picked up and circulated as if it was true. I got a phone call from one journalist to ask me if it was true… I was so surprised that anyone noticed that I said ‘no’. Yet friends who worked in the production department of another paper had to ‘catch it’ before it went out as truth. For more on all of this see
Knick Knack, Paddy Hack >>]