Month: September 2006

371 views

(DUBLIN) Jojoba Witnesses were 'outraged' today when a passing Irishman threw a dirty rope to a drowning Jojoba Witness in the Grand Canal. Horrified at coming into contact with an 'unclean substance' the Jojoba Witnesses have marched on the offices of the Irish Government to express their disgust at this repulsive act of of benevolence. It was an average day for Myles na gCopaleen, taking, as was his custom, a stroll down the banks of the Grand Canal in Dublin city centre. The quiet morning ambulation was disrupted when na gCopaleen was alerted to the shrieks and screams of a drowning man in the canal. Thinking nothing of his own safety, na gCopaleen grabbed a rope which was tethered to a nearby lock and cast it to the stricken man. After several unsuccessful attempts the man was dragged to safety. Desecration However, rather than receiving thanks for his heroic efforts,...

709 views

(DUBLIN) Violent protests erupted in Dublin today when enraged Bloggers took to the streets to express their outrage at Blather writer Samwise Doran for his speech earlier this week, wherein he quoted a 700 year-old conversation between a html programmer and an xml developer which was written on a UCD toilet wall. Church leaders, horse-fetishists, lake-monster hunters, politicians, satanists and bitter, twisted discussion forum harridans rampaged across Dublin city centre this morning in a bacchanalian frenzy of spam, spittle and cannibalism. In a worrying escalation of events, further riots are reported to be breaking out across the globe, with violent clashes reported in Sydney Australia, San Francisco, USA and Knobber, Co. Meath, Ireland. Putting the 'fun' back into 'mentalism' The row erupted earlier this week when blather.net writer Samwise 'Trinity' Doran gave a talk to the annual general meeting of Irish bloggers. Quoting from the 'Book of Bob' (an early...