(DUBLIN) Violent protests erupted in Dublin today when enraged Bloggers took to the streets to express their outrage at Blather writer Samwise Doran for his speech earlier this week, wherein he quoted a 700 year-old conversation between a html programmer and an xml developer which was written on a UCD toilet wall.
Church leaders, horse-fetishists, lake-monster hunters, politicians, satanists and bitter, twisted discussion forum harridans rampaged across Dublin city centre this morning in a bacchanalian frenzy of spam, spittle and cannibalism. In a worrying escalation of events, further riots are reported to be breaking out across the globe, with violent clashes reported in Sydney Australia, San Francisco, USA and Knobber, Co. Meath, Ireland.
Putting the ‘fun’ back into ‘mentalism’
The row erupted earlier this week when blather.net writer Samwise ‘Trinity’ Doran gave a talk to the annual general meeting of Irish bloggers. Quoting from the ‘Book of Bob’ (an early fourteenth-century codec noted for it’s candid exploration of the limitations of html), Doran said that html represented ‘a barbaric, backward, ignorant, fundamentalist, rabble-rousing waste of space’ and then went on to quote another section of the text that speculated as to whether or not html developers could ‘ever have anything close to a rational conversation without flying off the handle like a shower of pampered, spoilt twats’.
The reaction was instantaneous and horrific. Three bloggers were kicked to death in Clontarf. Two were strung up by their thumbs and roasted alive over a spit in Crumlin. Seven more were tarred and feathered and then dragged by the testicles over two miles to the offices of Hosting 365 where the mob then proceeded to burn the premises to the ground chanting ‘html is great!’
Asked whether or not blather.net would be offering an apology for its ‘insensitive and inflammatory remarks’, Doran replied that he would be offering no apology and that furthermore, the html mob could ‘get to fuck’.