‘Hello? Anyone there?’ (image by Comrade S)
[DUBLIN] Dave McScrote, a Dublin ‘street comedian’ spent several hours abusing passing randomers in Grafton St. yesterday in the hope that his cutting remarks would paper over the fact that he has no original material worth mentioning.
‘Ah yeah’ said Liam O’Slope, a homeless, toothless crack-addict who we found rummaging in a nearby skip, ‘he was hurling abuse at anyone that passed. Standing there with his guitar and just insulting people for the hell of it. Funny? He was about as funny as the scabs on my hole’.
Further reports from onlookers claim that McScrote called an elderly lady ‘a right owl wagon’, a drooling wheelchair-bound teenager ‘a filthy spaz’ and a recently-bereaved widower ‘a miserable po-faced owl shite’. Several minutes later McScrote is alleged to have spent almost ten minutes pointing and laughing at homeless people, shortly before offering his tweed hat to the passing crowd for some loose change, at the same time as shouting, ‘I’m mad I am. MAD.’