Tom Cruise Watch

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Total humorless WANKER update 20/01/06
Jesus wept. As many of you will know, Cruise was recently the subject of a rather merciless and (in my humble etc etc) a very funny episode of South Park, where the actor gets a deserved slagging over his membership of the ‘Church of Scientology’.

The show, in which Nicole Kidman and Cruise’s fellow Scientologist John Travolta are depicted attempting to coax an animated version of the actor out of a closet, caused controversy when broadcast in the U.S.
The cartoon Kidman tells Cruise, “Don’t you think this has gone on long enough? It’s time for you to come out of the closet. You’re not fooling anyone”—referring to allegations about Cruise’s sexuality.

So, what does Tom do? Does he laugh it off? Turn the other cheek? See the funny side of it and console himself that he’s got about 200 million dollars in the bank and a fit young wife? Nope. He calls his lawyers.
Tom gets litigious
Download the episode from mrtwig.net »
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Update 23/11/05
So. Now, having already convinced the chipmunk-faced jail-bait chick to sign up to his screwy, bullshit religion, it appears that young Holmsey will have to put a sock in it as the Cruise sproglet squirms it’s way out of her distended snatch and comes shrieking in to the world, destined as it is, no doubt, for a life of wearing tin-foil nappies and sucking on liquid-aura/crystal-jizz lunches. Tell me Tom, have you ever had a large object rammed up/in a bodily orifice the size of a credit-card slot and tried to maintain a dignified silence? Oh, wait…
“The Church Of Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard ruled followers must, “Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go.”
Holmes to give Marcel Marceau sproglet performance
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Update 05/10/05:

It’s official Kids. The cruiser is spawning. He and the zombie moppet are having a baby. It’s time to be scared.
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CruiseWatch 2005-06
Normally here on blather we wouldn’t lower ourselves to discussing the absurd shenanigans (love that word) of idiotic z-lister celebrities. That said, recently, it has been hard to escape the deluge of tabloid inches concerning one particular media-whore: Tom Cruise.


Up until now, it’s been relatively easy to ignore this cretinous monkey. But now it seems that young Thomas has gone stark raving mad. Jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch like a demented simian and hoofing an actress about 15 years his junior who is cheerfully becoming just as deluded as he is. Then he tells Brooke Shields where to get off with her post-natal depression and openly starts peddling the insane rantings of L. Ron Hubbard – the charlatan that brought us Scientology – surely the most ridiculous, idiotic cult since, well, since Christianity probably. It seems we just can’t get away from this inane, grinning spanner.
Normally we wouldn’t care less about such a individual, but this twat is peddling a dangerous, brain-washing cult based on the rantings of a failed science-fiction writer. And we’ve had enough.
Tom Cruise: kindly put a fucking sock in it.
The Tom Cruise scientology centre

damien
Damien DeBarra was born in the late 20th century and grew up in Dublin, Ireland. He now lives in London, England where he shares a house with four laptops, three bikes and a large collection of chairs.

42 comments

  1. I know in the field of mental health it has become an established fact that there is nothing that works. How dare Scientology come along with an effective technology that solves the mysteries of the human spirit. What are we going to do with all the snake oil salesmen claiming to be doctors of psychiatry?

  2. Regarding Tom Cruise being “annoying”;
    Ha! Anyone can see that you are insanely jealous of Tom Cruise and his success in life!
    I think it’s very cool that he is so in love that he shouts it to the world!
    In this world of taxes and terrorism, and people popping deadly psychiatric drugs to “maintain”……here’s one guy who’s obviously healthy, happy, in love, and doing so much for many others in the world.
    I really like Tom Cruise. If his church helped him to become what he is now, then it must be a good church.

  3. Well, I guess of all the crap I’ve read on Tom Cruise and Scientology over the past few months, yours comes closest to hitting the nail right on the head. Congratulations. There is not a lot left for journalists to say now. They need only refer people to your article.

  4. Lizbeth, sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m thinking that the public outcry about Tom’s behaviour is NOT based on jealousy. Most people believe Tom is:
    a. In the throes of a manic-depressive nervous breakdown;
    b. Desparately trying to cover up his latent homosexuality;
    c. trying to recover his sagging career by hooking up with a young hottie; or
    d. In the clutches of an evil, mind-controlling cult.
    All except for me, of course. Me, I’m definitely Jell-o. Jell-o all the way.

  5. Lizabeth is only toe-ing the cult’s party line. Should I be jealous of an illiterate hihg-school dropout? Nay! A dwarfish, insane, illiterate high-school dropout. I say that there is no allegedly about him being a fuckwit. Lizabeth, if you think Top Gun, Days of Thuner, and Bartender are the height of cinema, you may need another billion years of your whacko cult’s auditing..Wait 75 billion years wouldn’t help. Dwarfish, fuckwit, illiterate, cock-smoking high-school dropout. I feel sorry for Katie, because she won’t be getting any while married to Tom “The Gerbiller” Cruise.

  6. Where is anyone getting this outside information that Tom is homosexual? What reason would he have to cover up anything, you dont think that hes living for all of us do you? Why would he need to live his life worrying about what other people think of him? Its obvious that Tom is a man of doing what he pleases when he wants to. He already left Nicole Kidman, that tells you right there hes going to do anything he wants to do despite what anyone may think. He don’t care about covering up about anything.

  7. this bulshit that i have read is rubish watch out.
    well let me tell u that u sux TOM CRUISE ROCKS he is very sweet.
    oh yeah if u hate him so much why do u have to tell the whole world.

  8. I like that claim, “His success in life.”
    No, look at the sick fuck and try to tell me he’s successful in life. He got into the Scientology criminal enterprise, according to court documents, to have Scientology “cure” him of his homosexuality.
    Successfull people don’t yark off insanely in front of television cameras about their insane conspiracy kook notions — fed to him by the crime syndicate — about the mental health industry, something that this sicko _desperately_ needs.
    Also successful people don’t subject themselves to brainwashing to the point where they start honestly believing that they’re infested with the invisible murdered remains of aliens from outer space.
    http://sf.irk.ru/www/ot3/otiii-gif.html
    Now this flying saucer cultist can certainly yark off into the weeds like an insane kook standing on a street corner — which this clown _would_ be doing if he wasn’t a marginal actor — ranting about world-wide conspiracies while laboring under flying saucer delusions.
    No, what makes these Scientology crooks a problem is that ignorant, gullible people who some how think these actors know what the fuck they’re talking about are credible. The problem is that people who actually buy into the Scientology “Marcabian invasion fleet” conspiracy kookdom like Cruise does are capable of spreading L. Ron Hubbard’s criminal insanity to people who will kill themselves or maim themselves, either because they stop taking their medication or because they purchase the crime syndicate’s highly debilitative “training routines.”
    Cruise is an asshole. Trying to pretend that the truth about the sick fuck is some how jealousy is stupid — and about the IQ expected from Scientology customers.

  9. Anyone who “believes” in Scientology has to be a little nutty for starters. I think Tom has just fallen over the edge and is now heading straight for the Land of Lunacy, dragging poor Katie right down with him. Sad!!

  10. One comment to add-looking back over these remarks I have to ask “Toowest” about his/her remark that psychiatry has failed: could it be that you are a “true believer” in the Scientology twaddle? Or are you just off your meds?

  11. wow. what a shit can of worms you have opened Damian. Who would have thought that Tommy-boy could be such a hot bed of disagreement?!?!? My theory is he ruptured something and is now unable to control his mad rantings and obsessive couch bouncing. And he can’t be *that* against the use of mind altering drugs – because really – have you ever seen anyone act like that who *was not* on something??? What’s with the full facial grin?

  12. Well, before I entered the convent I worked in the world of entertainment public relations and well you hit the nail on the head. Much of what Tom is doing is the old “smoke and mirrors” publicity trick, no doubt ill-advised by his sister currently working as his publicist. As Dominick Dunne said recently, Tom could certainly use the advice of his former publicist, Pat Kingsley right now.
    Isn’t it surprising what nuns know?!

  13. I think it’s very interesting when people react so strongly, so negatively to other people who express their joy and success. it’s amazing, how all those who hate Tom Cruise, know more about him than the layman. Makes one wonder. This man is happy, successful, good looking, in love, and from what I’ve gathered–has helped a tremendous amount of people. Are we so right in ripping him to shreds, and are we so knowledgable to know whether or not Scientology does or does not have information that has comforted, healed and given him strength? I’ve never heard about a Scientologist causing anyone harm, passing out coolaid, depriving one of one’s fundamental senses in order to instill brainwashing, etc. I might be more inclined to review the angry people who pour their energy into harmful character bashing. Why don’t we celebrate the success of others, and focus on ways to make our lives a little better so we can enjoy those who have better lives without being compelled to take them down.
    Not to mention the defence of psychiatrists–are we talking about that same community who used to labotomize disgrunteled housewives? That club that changes what is labeld abberated by internal votes to meet what’s politically in vogue? That entitut that drugs our children with new lables each year? Please.

  14. I think it’s very interesting when people react so strongly, so negatively to other people who express their joy and success. it’s amazing, how all those who hate Tom Cruise, know more about him than the layman. Makes one wonder. This man is happy, successful, good looking, in love, and from what I’ve gathered–has helped a tremendous amount of people. Are we so right in ripping him to shreds, and are we so knowledgable to know whether or not Scientology does or does not have information that has comforted, healed and given him strength? I’ve never heard about a Scientologist causing anyone harm, passing out coolaid, depriving one of one’s fundamental senses in order to instill brainwashing, etc. I might be more inclined to review the angry people who pour their energy into harmful character bashing. Why don’t we celebrate the success of others, and focus on ways to make our lives a little better so we can enjoy those who have better lives without being compelled to take them down.
    Not to mention the defence of psychiatrists–are we talking about that same community who used to labotomize disgrunteled housewives? That club that changes what is labled abberated by internal votes to meet what’s politically in vogue? That entitut that drugs our children with new disorders each year, only to rewrite them the next? Right.

  15. Tom cruise is to good for Katie I diss like her she said she is going to be a vergin till she marries but did she no! She is having his baby ! She will leave him . Like she does everyone else. she is a not a nice person. I dont now enyone that likes her.We all love Tom Cruise he is to good for her.

  16. Me….I don’t know how I got on to this page, but it’s interesting to read all the cynics about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes! Yup, their relationship is fast and furious and they show too much PDA, but who are we to judge. I’m sure any normal person have felt this way before about something they truly cared about……a dog, a cat, the girl next door……….but the truth of the matter is that they are having a baby and as a mother I think that “EVERY CHILD IS A BLESSING”! So congrats to them…….and please leave the unborn child out of it!

  17. End game folks. Try to create a mental picture of Herr Crews when he is 70 years old , what does he look like then ? Will he be happy ? Or will he be mumbling on a park bench sucking his thumb ?
    His beauty gone his fame a lost memory and his mind jello? Hmmm Ta Ta

  18. Annie and Lis are the only persons that have any knowledge of Tom’s goodness and willingness to openly express his feelings. I’m happily married 46 years and if I could physically jump up and down on a couch, I would, too! That’s what happiness is all about. Tom’s actions are healthy. This website is one of sick, perverted, mentally deranged followers. Accidentally found it when searching for more news about the fabulous, gorgeous, talented, kind, and generous Tom Cruise. And, by the way, John Travolta is a Scientologist, AND I’m not..if you ask. Better to believe in good than evil or sick thoughts as most of your writers obviously do.

  19. Tom Cruise gives me the creeps. On the surface he appears to be a reasonably normal happy man but the more you listen to him (and I try to avoid it) the more artificial he seems to be. That grin of his really does make him look kind of insane. Once you’ve noticed it you can’t shake it off. Now I can’t watch any recent film with Tom Cruise in it as he’s far too creepy to be the hero.
    But then a lot of celebrities are like that. If you go through life with so many people telling you how wonderful you are (there are plenty of examples that here) then it’s sure to make you go a bit screwy. I don’t think he’s going to go over the edge mainly because he’s a figurehead for scientology so they won’t let him. They’re going to be making sure he remains well groomed and presentable. His marriage to Katie Holmes is a great coup for them.
    On the other hand, if I was marrying someone as pretty as Katie Holmes when I’m 46 I’m sure I’d be jumping up and down too…

  20. Well said WaterWolf. it is impossible to look at this guy and not think damn hes a friggin loon. He recently fired his publicist with the mistaken notion that they were to blame for his crazy “image” . Things are gonna get scary for Cruise now. The walls are gonna close in and Scientlogy won’t help him much.

  21. This whole thread is based on a misquote.

    Read http://www.hollywood.com‘s article in FULL (not that it’s that great a source, but at least read the whole article!)

    He tells talk show host Barbara Walters on her The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005 show—which airs next week, “Like anything, you want to be as quiet as possible. There have been misinterpretations that the woman can’t make any noise, and that’s just not true. It’s nutty.

    “No, but just calm and quiet. I want Katie to be as comfortable as possible. And whatever she’s gonna go through, she’s gonna go through. And I’m gonna be there.”

    As a note:
    Mr. Hubbard didn’t “RULE” – he ADVISED.

    My wife and I are Scientologists, and she had an epidural, and she yelled if she wanted to. We did tell doctors and nurses to keep chatter to a minimum, for a quiet, distraction-free and peaceful environment.

  22. I think we should all have pity on Tom and all the other suckers that have joined Scientology. They are simply caught up in a dead science-fiction writers scam to make money.
    “Make money. Make more money. Make other people make money.”
    – L. Ron Hubbard

  23. I think that what is sad about Tom is that his whole statement that “there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance” and his ideas that people with mental illnesses do not need medication will cause people who respect him but need treatment to not get the treatment that they need. It is really a shame.

  24. Scientology charges people to brain wash them… people forget that brain washing is a scientific phenomena that can affect almost anyone who falls into this murk of messy minds. You would probably like my demented athiest humor, by the way; I write about a liberal psycho killer of sorts…I’m a comedian/novelist from chi-town… and I love your site as much as brussel sprouts with butter–real butter.

  25. The church of scientology is not a religon. If you were Jim Jones on a catholic powertrip it wouldn’t make any difference. Scientology is a mental training system, I am sure you can read between the lines here, that imposes a structure upon those whose life ‘lacks meaning’, to turn them into effective and productive individuals. By becoming a member and paying your ‘tithes’, you don’t get empty promises about going to heaven, you triple your income – Thus the tithe paid is tripled. It is an organization designed to make money by using internal members to put together mutually beneficial schemes for other members. It is a materialist religeon! It is quite simply and self-help pyramid scheme. The reason the COS don’t like psychiatry is because, like any institution, it seeks to govern all aspects of an individuals psyche. As such scientology is in competition with psychiatry and with freedom of speech comes the ability to criticize ones competiton.
    I would recommend people stay away from ANY institution that seeks to re-create the miracle that is YOU, cause even if you can’t see that miracle, do you really want to systematize it, or pass control of it to someone else? The world is full of false advertising, human beings lie for their own gain and there is no fate.
    I will say this for scientology in terms of its delivery. At least when you put money in you get money out. Can’t really say that about anyother ‘religeous’ organisation? Deal is all.
    People are weak and afraid and generally stupid. If they weren;t then they wouldnt disempower themselves or seek to be empowered by others, they’d do it for themselves. Dont like scientology, fine. Dont like Tom Cruise (even better) What a prick… But compared to the horror and death caused by the catholic church, established by a syphalitic madman, who alone set technology back 1500 some years to have us all live like pigs in shit for their gain, what a meager and pathetic threat to the world the COS is in comparison.
    At least Hubbard was damn clever, and at least the COS writes books instead of burning them. If you dont like em, like me, dont read em.

  26. the above scientologist is full of shit… they do not get their money back, and I just read an article about a man who died trying. They are liars. They will say and do anything to attain their goals, because l ron hunnard was a lunatic influenced by the lawless tactics of intelligence agencies. Anyone who gets into scientology is a fool… on their way to being a criminal.

  27. http://www.southparkx.net/episodes/912-trapped-in-the-closet

    Bittorrent: South Park: Trapped in the Closet

    “Religious leaders recognize Stan as the second coming and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer. The results of Stan’s personality test reveal that he’s depressed. While Stan looks to a new religion for answers, the church leaders recognize Stan as the second coming. Some A-List Hollywood celebrities [inc Tom Cruise] join the faithful who have set up camp right in front of Stan’s house.”

  28. The demise of Tom Cruise started like a flickering red light inside an airplane cockpit. Maybe its nothing ,but soon it glowed brighter.
    Others on the plane now feared the worse. Tom just ignored it while the rest of the plane parachuted to safety.He refused to believe the rest of the world and their lack of faith in his brilliance.
    His fate was now sealed.

  29. the comments aren`t so much about tom as it is about the commenters themselves. you don`t need a psychiatrist. you just need to read your own comments about tom or anyone else to realise what`s occuring in your head at the moment you type.
    tom`s joy on shows like oprah is enviable. he could barely sit in his seat he was so happy. the technocrats need to put a cap on that right quick. the happiness might spread to the masses…….and you know what would happen then.
    oh, and so what if tom is gay. here`s a newsflash; it`s none of your business.
    and regarding cults. the majority of the population is in a cult of one description or another. anger and hostility and resentment are cults with millions of members who console themselves in the company of others by witnessing how destructive it is for people to exhibit happiness and afluence in public, as if it detracts personally from thier impotent attempts at fame and fortune.
    it is good that tom has come forward and started us negotiating for our own happiness.
    and mind our own business.

  30. At least scientology hasn’t raped, brainwashed or killed millions and wiped out entire indigenous peoples in the quest to gain world power. Organized upper echelon Catholicism is far, far more scary than Ron Chubby Hubby.

  31. Do some research on Scientology (and on L. Ron Hubbard in general). You will find that they are NOT in any way a “religion”, they are nothing more than a Satanic cult with brainwashed members that actually believe that they are aliens from another planet!
    Yes, folks, Scientologist are fucked in the head–severely! Being a celebrity doesn’t mkae you credible for Christ’s sake and Tom Cruise is a fucking IDIOT, period! Poor Katie Holmes truly has no clue what she has gotten herself into…. I feel for her and her family as well as her unborn child.

  32. hillarious postings, I especially enjoy the very first one..so funny. I found this site because I was interested in Juliette Lewis’ biography, who I found out through Wikpedia is a scientologist as well, and then of all craziness BECK is one too !??? man. If what wikpedia has researched about L.Ron the M.RON is true, then it’s really scary forget about Tommy boy. why is BECK into it??? According to Wik..L.Ron was a child abuser, sex crazed, selfish, con artist/
    people hater. His own son was suicidal and homosexual. he watched his father give his mother an abortion with a coat hanger according to wikpedia..and where they get their info, I am not sure. Check it out though.
    Fame and fortune, can a person ever have enough or do you just want more. Maybe that’s the problem with humans.
    PEople just get too egotistical and then greedy and want more more more.. obviously something about this cult makes you feel like you can stay on top of it.. that’s my guess.
    Scientologists perhaps could read Joseph Cambell’s power of myth or some books about Carl Jung.
    holy crap.. it’s so sad to see rich people with with poor judgment. Some of us human with lots of money are so lacking..? so careless. We are all doomed..
    Everyone lets go to Nuclear Power..such a great solution maybe someone will start a religion about nuclear waste and it can be called the nulear wastologists. Yes the waste actually makes your brain bigger , because you grow another head
    All the canadian oil companies are run by rich white old men, oh and one chinese man.. sorry of asian decent, there are no plans to stop oil production cause god, what will all the rich oil workers do all 20,000 of them?
    Oh sorry no you can’t buy your 10th fuc*ing island in the caribbean oh no your wife can’t get any more 10,000 dollar plastic surgery oh nooooooo! and no you can’t buy high class hookers or smoke all the money in a crack pipe.. Fu*k who the fu*k is getting rich off oil and gold mining..
    Lastly, just so you all know spread the word…
    Barrick Gold mining corporation wants to mine the last glaciers in Chile the last remaining fresh water supply to the farmers and the people really.
    only 5,000 are going to get EXTREMELY WEALTHY and all the land the glaciers and the people will be fucked, poisoned and left with NOTHING. That means everyone who needs fresh water to survive.
    oh they will try and convince you otherwise, they hire large public relations companies to advertise and buy off support. they hire their own scientist maybe L.Ron’s evil twin and who says they’re going to remove parts of the glacier and then replace it HA ha ha ha ok,
    ok yeah, you should see the size of the hole, the heat from the mining will melt the rest of the glaciers. So really they got people to invest their money to build up the project and then it becomes a fuc*ing monster. IF they stop they will losse their money. FUCK THEM. WHO SAID TEY COULD GO AND DO THAT ANYWAY???? Chille get your s%it together. People start to think for fu#k sakes. what the fu*k is wrong with everyone????
    What are we going to do when mother nature stops feeding us? we’ll eat ourselves. And drink urine for water.. maybe that will be the future, oh but you can’t pee if you’re dehydrated..You have been warned, start acting now.

  33. Scientology is the most ‘Fucked up cult’ in the whole world.
    I just can’t figure out why people would fall for such a load a bull.

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