Samuel L. Jackson is GOD

‘Does Moses look like a bitch?’
That’s right kids, a new audio version of the Bible, set to be recorded and released shortly, will feature the dulcet tones of none other than arch-hard ass Samuel L. Jackson as the Big White Dude with a Beard.

Movie superstar SAMUEL L JACKSON will voice God in a new audio version of the Bible. The taped recording of the New Testament will feature many famous other black actors and musicians. Jackson was given the lead role because producers felt his deep, authorative voice was perfect for the role of God. A source tells British newspaper The Daily Telegraph, “Samuel’s just finished recording a CD set of the New Testament. The recording is due to be released in September (06), with a box set of the Old Testament to follow next year (07). “Scores of other black actors, musicians and athletes will also figure, but Samuel was deemed to be the perfect person to play God.”

So. Any further suggestions for Hollywood types to play biblical roles? Steve Buscemi for Moses? Martin Sheen as Noah? How about John Goodman as John the Baptist? Suggestions in a comment please…

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“Hand me my stone tablet. It’s the one with ‘Supreme Mutherfucker’ written on it”

damien

Damien DeBarra was born in the late 20th century and grew up in Dublin, Ireland. He now lives in London, England where he shares a house with four laptops, three bikes and a large collection of chairs.