Random Bar Joke Generator

Example numero uno
This lady walks into a bar. A genie pounds on the bar and yells “I’m gonna do the mattress Macarena with you all night long!” The lady says “Can you stick a cue ball in your mouth?” The genie gets close to the lady and says “Give me fifty bucks and I’ll beat up everyone in the bar.”
The lady yells “All right! Where’s that girl with the loose tooth?”
Second one
Okay, so a blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t see many blondes in here.” The blonde shouts “Can you nail your feet to the floor?” The bartender says “See that hooker over there? If you recite the Carmina Burana from memory that hooker will do the mattress Macarena with you all night long.”
So the blonde says “Just put it on my bill.”
Three’s the charm
So this lady walks into a bar. A guy says “I’d do something nobody in this bar has ever seen before to get a drink.” The lady says “Are you kidding? I’m a lady!” The bartender says “Look, you seem like a nice lady. Give me a quarter and I’ll make it worth your while.”
So the lady sits down and says “Sure, but don’t hit me so hard with the hammer.”
Get them in at The Brunching Shuttlecocks.
Oh, why not one more…?
This Irishman walks into a bar. A genie says “I’d recite the Carmina Burana from memory to get a drink.” The Irishman takes a deep breath and yells “I’ll take a tequila shot.” The bartender says “We don’t see many Irishmen in here.”
So the Irishman says “Yeah, well, I’ve given up drinking!”

barry
Barry Kavanagh writes fiction, and has made music, formerly with Dacianos and presently with the forthcoming "voodoo project".

Contact him here.

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