Gordon Brown leaves “parting gift” at 10 Downing Street

Prime Minister Gordon Brown pictured this morning at Downing Street
[LONDON] In a move anticipating a possible Tory challenge to the sitting Prime Minister’s right to stay in number 10, Gordon Brown returned to Downing Street this morning to run his knob around the rim of all the mugs in the kitchen. ‘The bastards will never know which ones they are’ an aide declared, before pausing to urinate into a nearby kettle.

Reports are sketchy at best, but other Westminster insiders have suggested that the Labour party faithful spent several hours preparing a ‘welcoming package’ for David Cameron’s Tories should they achieve a clear majority. This allegedly includes select pieces of tuna being stitched into the Prime Minister’s curtains, the scattering of assorted insects into various cupboards and wardrobes and an as yet unconfirmed story that a Labour aide ‘curled one out’ onto the cabinet room meeting table.
More as we get it.
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