Queen to appoint Avram Grant as Prime Minister

Avram Grant meeting with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II this morning
[LONDON] Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, reportedly furious with Parliament’s inability to form a government or appoint a Prime Minister is, according to Westminster gossip, considering appointing Avram Grant as an interim PM.

Blather.net’s award-winning political correspondent Filthy Hack (on location in Westminster as we speak) reported into the news desk that the palace was considering appointing the Israeli football coach as they were ‘profoundly impressed’ with Mr. Grant’s recent stewardship of the sinking ship that is Portsmouth F.C. and that they believed his acumen with an empty bank balance singled him out as ‘the man best positioned to see the country through this traumatic period’.
‘Constitutionally speaking, this is uncharted territory’ Hack told us, with the UK facing into a period of ‘profound change and trauma’. Grant has, apparently, impressed the Queen with his ‘never-say-die mentality’, his ability to manage on a budget smaller than that of a Greek pawn-shop and his stubborn refusal to accept the reality of the situation around him.
Sources were unable however, to confirm if Grant would be able to get the UK to claim for financial assistance from the European Union after missing a March deadline for submission of the requisite forms.
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