So, your man is going to the World Cup, eh?

Are you a female blather reader? Is the man in your life about to abscond to watch the World Cup? Are you worried that he might be tempted by the heaving, groaning, cavalcade of female flesh and an endless supply of cheap booze and drugs? Welcome to Artemis.

Wind-bags

In case you have been in a coma for the last six months (in a cave, in Antarctica, in a Polar bear's headlock) the World Cup is coming. And where there are World Cups there are World Cup widows. You know them - those lost, forlorn, rejected specimens of womanhood, left to fend for themselves as their male counterparts jump on planes full of beered-up, testosterone-charged Neanderthals and scarper to wherever the world’s most overpaid athletes meet once every four years to chase an over-branded bag of wind around an over-watered patch of grass whilst wearing pretty colours and corporate logos. But I digress. Back to business.

Dirty sluts

It’s natural to fret whilst your man is away. He’s with his mates. He’s got money. He’s in a foreign country. And you just know what those dirty foreign sluts will do to him, don’t you? Oh yes. They’re going to spot his bald pate and beer-gut from amongst the thousands of others shuffling off the Sleazyjet flight, tail him, hunt him down to an isolated laneway, beat him over the head and then fill him full of cheap east-German beer, six lines of grade-A gak and then take turns sitting on his red and white painted face whilst screaming ‘oooo yaaaaaa!’ in great Teutonic shrieks.

Ja!Ja!Jaaaaaaa!

That said, it is a much greater likelihood that your man will (being away and all of that) decide to visit a whore-house. That's right. A whore-house. And how do I know this female-reader dear? I know, because of this. I refer of course to a piece that was slapped up on blather a while back now. It refers to plans by German organisers to build Artemis – the worlds’ biggest shag-shop. In Berlin. For the World Cup. When your man is there.

Gizmos and so on

We here at blather are a decent bunch really. Devoted to the dissemination of information for free. And we felt in this instance that it was worth bringing to attention the fact that the search term ‘Artemis’ and ‘Artemis whorehouse Berlin, Germany’ have been rather popular here on the site. Rather popular indeed. Most notably from users in England.

You see, a little gizmo from the boys at Statcounter.com allows us to see who comes into the site, where from and what search term brought them in. And man have the lads been looking for 'Artemis' been coming in. All day. Every day. Seven days a week.

So there you have it ladies. When he says: ‘I’m off to the world Cup to support England’ he’s really saying ‘I’m off to the World Cup to support England and, whilst there, me and the lads shall endeavour to drink an EU-sized beer-lake, take as many drugs as we can and spit-roast as many uber-breasted, shaven-crotched Bavarian prostitutes as is humanly possible. See you in July’.

Just thought you'd like to know.

More:

Artemis the superbrothel

Artemis on BBC

A polr bear's headlock? In Antartica? Unlikely. Those emperor penguin lads have a deadly half-nelson, though.

they're too cute to be workin' in Dunnes so they hit the streets the divils

And if Ireland had qualified, you'd be going along purely for the game and the carnival atmosphere, eh? Snooty, Snooty!!

I'm just prayin the whole thing turns out to be a peacefull gathering of footy fans.
Theres always some pack of English Goons who make sure a riot breaks out. I hope the German Police go Blitzkreig Central on those losers.

Well..Well two can play that game, if you feel bored and left out while he's away drinkin havin a good time Why not checkout all the hot guys on iminhere.ie memberships now free while we renovate iminhere Instead of spendin money on football he should have spent it on you??

well, it seems that the english fans have disappointed the rest of the world by noisily supporting thier team and then fucking off back to the hotel.....
come on england!