Year: 2003
Thomas Heazle Parke (or “That Guy on the Statue…”) Part 2
More on the intrepid 19th century Irish adventurer and his discovery of the 'Mountains of The Moon'... <!-- --> In a previous piece we had explored how Parke had come to find himself embarking out on one of the most infamous exploratory journeys of the last century, through Africa. The end result of the journey was a calamity of huge proportions both in human and financial terms. And one cracking great story. "Dr. Parke I Presume?" The expedition, led by the famous explorer Henry Morton Stanley, (he of the "Dr. Livingstone I presume"? fame) departed in February of 1887, from Banana Point on the Western coast of Africa, and would make its way through the Congo. From there it wound its way through the then uncharted Ituri rainforest, and finally to Lake Albert where the beleaguered Emin Pasha was to be found, covering an extraordinary 3000 miles. It was an...
Mothman Curse Continues?
Richard Gere better watch out. Apparently. It seems a little tenuous... but stay tuned. Richard Gere: Future Victim Of `Mothman' Curse? PORTLAND, Maine (Wireless Flash) -- Richard Gere may want to watch his back for a while because he may soon fall victim to the "Curse Of "The Mothman Prophecies.""That's the word from Mothman researcher Loren Coleman, who says a recent plane crash in Los Angeles is only the latest event caused by the "Mothman Curse." More Blather on the Mothman Prophecies daev's article on disinfo.com June 13: The Mothman Death List by Loren Coleman Update 28/12/03: RTE:British actor Sir Alan Bates dies The 69-year-old died last night at a hospital in London after a long battle with cancer, his agent confirmed today. He was best known for his performances on screen in films like 'Women In Love' and 'The Fixer', and more recently in 'The Mothman Prophecies'. His most...
Fencing in water
Ok, the IFSC management have gone bananas Ok, the IFSC management have gone bananas. They've FENCED in George's Dock, using those high, portable fences usually used on building sides. What the hell is going on? Behind the wire, a duck and drake are escorting a flotilla of ducklings. Have they turned savage? Have the mullet grown teeth? Is it to stop the local kids from going swimming, in case they upset the fragile reality-tunnels of the yuppie middle-class? Maybe it's even to stop the kids from impaling themselves on some Victorian industrial artefact.
We’re all gonna die!
Ah bollocks. It's the end of the world again... Ah bollocks. It?s the end of the world again. And us here down at Blather Paranormal Investigations were just getting into the swing of things. Sure, only last week we got the time machine working and sent Jasper the cat hurtling off into the ether. We?ve had three reports back from him so far. The work is only beginning. The Ghost hunting venture has been coming along nicely too ? young Daev had the holding facility almost built for the spooks. Anyway, some miserable doom-monger in the states has predicted that it?s 50/50 for us humans. And we don?t disagree. Frankly, how a self-annihilating parasitic piece of filth like the human race has lasted this long is an utter mystery to us here at Blather HQ. But wait! Don't buy that bomb shelter you saw on 24 just yet! This cheerful...
Thomas Heazle Parke (or “That Guy on the Statue …”) Part 1.
Ever wondered who he is? Well, wonder no more... <!-- --> We've all walked past him. We've all seen him. Thousands of Dubliners' lay eyes on him every day, whizzing by on their buses, in their cars, on their bikes. He has been there longer than I'm sure he would care to remember. He has stood and watched rebellion, bloodshed and war, the end of an empire and the birth of a new nation. He has witnessed governments come and go, buildings rise and fall, technology grow and the city in which he stands expand, bulge and explode around him. He has dodged bullets from the 1916 rising (which hit the building behind him). He could bear testimony to a million clandestine conversations which have taken place in the buildings that surround him and he has been defecated on by a million pigeons. Some of us have maybe even wondered...
The adventures of Jasper the time travelling cat (Volume 1. Episode 3)
Volume 1. Episode 3. Oh dear. He's in Egypt. Again. Oh dear. Dear oh dearie. Yesterday, we reported that Jasper the intrepid time travelling cat had wound up in the court of the heretic pharaoh Akenhaten. We also stated our hope that he had ?leaped? to somewhere a bit safer and closer to home. Never one to do things the easy way, it turns out Jasper has actually leaped backwards about a millennium. He has wound up at the Giza plateau ca. 2550 B.C. We have received an abundance of downloaded data from the instrumentation on his collar, but the moggy-to-human-voice-translator is still acting up so it?s hard to translate exactly what the hell is talking about. We did receive one interesting sample though which read as follows: ?Miaow snarl? pyramid capstone and ramp? snarl, roar?. thousands of men? clearing of throat? miaow, hiss? dodgy wig?miaow?kill you in your sleep??....
The adventures of Jasper the time travelling cat (Volume 1. Episode 2)
Volume 1. Episode 2. The intrepid moggy makes contact. From Ancient Egypt... Well cover me in kitty litter and call me moggy, but dagnammit if things aren?t getting exciting down here at Blather Paranormal Investigations Inc. Last night, sat as we were in our lab, quaffing a small glass of absinthe, ruminating over the cycling results and lightly tinkering with the Tesla-inspired warp field coils, a small but distinct crackling began to emanate from the wireless. As we had previously reported, Jasper, the intrepid time-travelling cat was lost somewhere in Siberia. In 1908. However, our readings had indicated to us that he may have ?time-shifted? just prior to the Tunguska event. To where, we knew not. Until last night? Frantically we managed to tune in the faint miaowing and screeching and set to locating the daredevil feline. It turns out that Jasper has wound up in Ancient Egypt. But not...
Ghost in a Jar?
Weird shite for sale on Ebay As posted by Dr Bob to P45rant.com Somebody is trying to sell a 'ghost in a jar' on Ebay. Weird: I don't have enough space here to tell the complete story behind this, so I will briefly go over it. Back in the early 1980's, while out metal detecting, I came across and old abandoned cemetery with the foundation of a homesite or Church or something nearby. While searching around the foundation, my detector indicated there was something in the ground close by the southwest corner of the foundation. After digging down about 2 feet my shovel struck a wooden box that had nearly rotted out. The metal hinges and hasp were about all that was left of it. I thought I had discovered a fortune! Boy, did that ever turn out to be wrong!! There were 2 jars and an old journal in...
Invasion of the Jellyfish
Wexford, Cornwall, taken over by bags of goo... Tens of thousands of jellyfish-like creatures have washed up on the Cornish coast. The tiny blue animals called Velella Velella are related to the deadly Portuguese Man o'War. But at around three centimetres long they only give a sting similar to that of a nettle. There have been no reports of similar shoals of jellyfish washing up on the nearby Wexford coast. From the Irish Independent Also: Ananova:Thousands of stinging 'jellyfish' washed up in Cornwall BBC: Thousands of jellyfish on beaches News just in: Contrary to initial reports, the jellyfish have infiltrated the Irish coastal defences at Baginbun, and have made their way north from the Hook Penninsula to Wexford town. After a length siege of Wexford County Hall, the Velella Velella have established taken control of Wexford, and have established an interim government in the region. Human casualties have been described...
The adventures of Jasper the time travelling cat (Volume 1. Episode 1)
Volume 1. Episode 1. How it all began... As we reported in a previous issue of Shitegeist, we here at Blather Paranormal Investigations Inc. have been dabbling with experiments in that old chestnut 'Time Travel'. As we explained, we had made an earlier attempt by harnessing the power of a particle accelerator, some Tesla warp-field technology, a small lump of plutonium, a can of tuna and a rather docile black cat by the name of 'Jasper'. All went well. Kind of. Jasper has been gone for some time now. In time. If you follow me. He is in 1908 to be precise. But, hark! Yesterday evening as we sat tinkering with the dials on the flux capacitor and oiling the tubing between the mass spectrometer intake valve and the large brass vat where we store the absinthe, a distant crackling could be heard on the vintage wireless in the corner...